20th Century Fox What’s a Christmas film without a good villain? Tiny Tim and Bob Crachit have Ebenezer Scrooge, the Who’s have The Grinch, John McClane has Hans Gruber, etc.. You need a bad guy and a threat to the whole holiday to raise the stakes.But for most, there’s a redemptive arc in store for them; they find the Christmas spirit, find love, etc.. so in the end, you don’t hang on to your anger. This is why The Grinch and Scrooge are enduring characters that we learn to accept as Christmas icons.
But these guys? They’re assholes.
TriStar Pictures B.Z.
Santa Claus: The Movie
Played brilliantly by John Lithgow, he’s the ultimate love-child of Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch. He recruits one of Santa’s elves to help him take over Christmas and makes dangerous toys to boot.But his comeuppance was pretty darn sweet – eating a floating candy cane and drifting off into space, helplessly.
20th Century Fox Frank McCallister
Home Alone & Home Alone 2
It’s easy to consider Marv and Harry and the most evil characters in the films, but you’d be wrong. They were bad guys, but they were also kinda likeable. Uncle Frank was not. He was a dick.He calls Kevin names, he’s a cheapskate, and he berates Kevin for not apologizing to Buzz in HA2, even going as far as telling him not to ruin the vacation that Kevin’s dad is paying good money for.
RKO Radio Pictures Henry Potter
It’s a Wonderful Life
He’s the main bad in the most iconic feel-good movie of all time, and he was the absolute worst. He was cold, calculating and wanted to drive George Bailey out of business and rename Bedford Falls into “Pottersville.”Worst of all, he’s the reason Bailey’s father died and he almost caused George to take his own life with his cruelty. Even though George triumphs at the end, not much happens to Potter, which is surprising. Dude deserved a heart attack after all that.
New Line Cinema Miles Finch
Most people will say that Miles was only a jerk because Buddy called him an elf, but they’d be wrong; he was a jerk even before he walked into the building.He refuses to shake Hobbs’ hand, demands to see the money upfront and counts it in front of everyone, and dismisses everyone else’s ideas. Then, when Buddy enters, Miles starts boasting about his sexual conquests, his house, his tvs, then physically attacks Buddy.
Thankfully, he left his book behind.
Warner Bros. Ruby Deagle
The richest woman in Kingston Falls was even worse than the Gremlins. She shut down the local factory and put everyone out of a job, called them “deadbeats” and forced the bank to foreclose on their mortgages. Then she also tried to kill Billy’s dog several times.Unfortunately for her, she pissed off the Gremlins and they tampered with her stairlift and caused it to shoot her out of an upstairs window. Harsh? Sure, but she earned it.
Universal Pictures Mark
A controversial choice (or maybe not), but this guy is crushing on his best friend’s girl, ruins their wedding video with closeups of her, and does the whole card thing.It breaks the bro code, and also, what do you want to happen with your gesture? That she’s gonna leave her husband of a week and run off with you? Sorry bud.
MGM/UA Grover Dill
A Christmas Story
Sure, Scut is a huge douche, but he’s at least gets what he deserves from the hands of Ralphie. It’s his flunky, Grover, that’s a huge asshat. He’s just a follower and bullies for the sake of being a part of Scut’s gang.Those guys are the worst.
20th Century Fox The Consierge
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Yeah, I get that he’s just doing his job, but the guy’s a fucking tool. He’s got no backbone, and takes far too much glee in trying to catch a kid using his dad’s credit card. Had he acted like a rational adult, half of the problems in the film would have been resolved.But then, it wouldn’t have been as funny.
Warner Bros. Todd and Margo
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
I hate these guys just because of who they are. They’re walking cliche’s of the excess of the 80’s with their shiny tracksuits and fancy stereo system, and they’re not very nice to anyone.I mean, sure, it’s not easy living next door to the Griswolds, but still. Gotta tone down the yuppie ‘tude.
20th Century Fox Buzz
Home Alone & Home Alone 2
This dude is just a huge tool. In the first one, he bullies Kevin, eats his pizza and gets him in trouble. In the second, he embarrasses him and puts him on trial.You could probably go ahead and blame both movies on Buzz, because he’s a colossal dick.
20th Century Fox The Rest of the McCallister Family
Home Alone & Home Alone 2
You know what? Screw the rest of the family too, minus the mom (kinda). No one really cares that Kevin is stuck alone, the dad doesn’t really bother to go home to rescue Kevin and his sibs, cousins and aunt/uncle just bully him.And what did they get in the end? A trip to Paris in the first one, and a shit ton of free gifts and a trip to NYC in the second.
As for the mom, she tries, but you can’t ignore the fact that she left her youngest behind. Twice.
Paramount Pictures The Ghost of Christmas Present
You’d think that Frank Cross would be the worst guy in the film, but this perky ghost has got him beat. She’s randomly violent, abuses and physically tortures Frank.I think a restraining order needs to be served here.
NBC Universal TV Coach Comet and Santa
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Both of these guys are jerks. They shame Rudolph for his unique nose and facilitate a climate of bullying. Then, when it gets foggy, then come begging.Definitely not the best Santa role model for kids.
Buena Vista Pictures Marcus
This double-crossing elf assistant to Billy Box Thortonn is the real bad guy of this offbeat Christmas classic. Sure, Willie isn’t the most sympathetic character at first, but he does come around. Marcus never does and even tries to commit murder.That’s definitely gonna keep him on the naughty list.
RKO Radio Pictures Mr. Gower
It’s a Wonderful Life
You might think that Potter’s the worst thing in the movie, but Mr. Gower takes the cake. He’s a drunk that nearly poisons a child customer, then beats George on the head until his ear bleeds and he loses hearing.I mean, yes, Gower is distraught at the loss of his son, but involuntary manslaughter and abuse aren’t okay, no matter the circumstances.
20th Century Fox Hans Gruber
Ok, I don’t hate him. In fact, he’s one of my favourite villains, but he is a jerk. If it wasn’t for Gruber and his terrorist/robbery, John McClane would have had a great holiday party, reconciled with his wife and lived happily ever after. Instead, Christmas was ruined.Years later, McClane is trying to still work on his relationship, which puts Holly on a plane when the airport is hijacked – leading to Die Hard 2. Then, when the relationship fails, McClane is despondent and gets dragged into a new terror activity with a different Gruber.
It all started with Hans.
H/T Reality Bite & IFC
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