People who realized they’d been wrong about something for way too long
It happens to everyone: One day, you realize that you’ve been doing something the wrong way for years, you just notice something that’s always been there, and so on. It’s about the dawning realization that you might be just a bit of a dumbass, but it’s something everyone experiences.
Kind of. Some of these stories are more relatable than others because I’ve got to be honest, a few of these people’s realizations are jaw-droppingly obvious.
I always thought eggplant tasted “itchy”, like itchy was a flavor, like sour or salty. Fed some to my baby and his face turned red wherever the eggplant touched, and I realized we’re both just allergic to eggplant. And itchy isn’t a flavor.
My mom has been pronouncing Massachusetts “Massa Two Shits” for years and no one corrected her because they thought she just had strong feelings about Massachusetts.
Last month was the first time I discovered lint rollers were peelable. Literally sat there for a minute to take that in.
Edit: I’m 20
Since the dawn of time, I would pick up the silverware and utensils out of their tray in the dishwasher and put them away in their drawers then go back and pick up more out of the dishwasher. Then one day I saw my wife lift the tray out of the dishwasher and I legit stood there with my mouth open.
My name is Ryan.
It took me until I was in 1st grade to realize my name wasn’t in the alphabet.
My mom had told me my name was in the alphabet, and I felt so lucky. She obviously meant the letters to spell my name were in the alphabet.
But nope. It took that long to realize the alphabet didn’t go “W, X, Ryan Z….
Well… This was a few years ago. I was the director of IT for a very large company. I was given a new cellphone and told to setup my voicemail.
I don’t know that when I recorded my name it would be played to whomever I leave a voice mail for.
Well the name I recorded was, “Dooder84 Corporate IT Godddd!!!”
I worked there for 4 years until someone in the hallway referred to me as the “corporate IT GoD!”
I was so embarrassed…..
Realized the multi colored tape measures glued to the door frames of gas stations etc. are for identifying robbers, not for measuring yourself as you walk out. I mean, they can be, but that’s not why they are there. Unless you’re the robber.
When I was a kid, I was told that the paper that came on cupcakes/muffins was edible.
I would spend a decade eating them like this (paper and all), until a friend pointed it out.
I didn’t realise I had to brush the BACK of my teeth as well as the front (I was a dumb kid – I blame toothpaste adverts) unto I was 15. Had 9 filings and a root canal.
I didn’t know you could take off the caps of those refrigerated coffee creamers… I had been stabbing through the foil with a knife for years until my uncle saw me and asked what the fuck I was doing……. lol
Learned earlier last year “bust a nut” isn’t an expression for when something hits your nuts or you land in a way that crushes them
Not cause I’ve been doing something wrong my entire life but saw it wrong. I’m colorblind and my entire life I thought peanut butter was green until I turned 19. And when I found out it was brown my mind was blown. It took so long because no one really talks about the color of things like that.
Winding a watch that was battery powered. For like, a year. Ah, fuck. Thanks for making me think of that.
I was at crate and barrel with my gf talking about how it’s so weird they don’t make tongs so you open them up super wide and then press in; I thought it was odd that they only gave you a super tiny opening. In the middle of me saying this she just presses the button at the bottom of the tongs I was holding and I stop mid sentence in shame.
Pronouncing hybrid as “High Bird”. My husband repeated it to me in a Snuffaluffagus voice and I swear I had a Ratatouille food critic flash back to every time in my life I said it wrong. I was 33.
When I realized, at 18, that the phrase is “up and at em” not “up and Adam”
I was always wondering who the hell adam was, thought it was a stupid phrase
Former school nurse here. The number of high school boys who don’t know what circumcision is is amazingly high. Many think they were “born circumcised.” When they finally see a foreskin, they are in complete awe. When they find out the brown ring on their penis is a scar from when their foreskin was removed, they are also amazed.
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