Fun fact: Being an anesthesiologist is a notoriously difficult job, if not one of the most difficult jobs in the medical field. It’s mostly because the drugs you use to knock people out are very unpredictable, and it takes a true professional to figure out the right dosages.
But no matter what, you’re bound to say the most insane shit you’ve ever said in your life, and these stories about anesthesia are more shining examples of that.
Not an anesthesiologist but was a tech. Had a patient wake up violently. When he came to he said, “sorry, I thought I was a shark.”
Not an anesthesiologist but my tight laced, extremely christian great grandma apparently asked “who the fuck is that ugly son of a bitch” while she was waking up from a surgery. The person she was referring to? Her preacher who stopped by to check up on her. She never lived that one down. The story was even told at her funeral. She was kinda strict but she was a great lady with a great sense of humor.
Happened today. Patient has a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out. The anesthesiologist accidentally hit the door frame on the way out.
Patient: did you just do surgery on my leg?
Anesthesiologist: yes you had surgery and are waking up from it
Patient: then why are you running into things
When I came out of surgery at 14 I told everyone I was fine and just felt like a gatorade. Mum got it for me, opened the lid and handed it over, I took it and maintaining direct eye contact with her I tipped it upside down no where near my mouth. Got gatorade all over me and was super confused, that’s where my memory ends. Mum tells me after looking briefly confused I just shrugged and settled back down to fall asleep.
Anesthesiologist here, I was once transporting a patient to the ICU after surgery, in which he got some ketamine, and he was rocking out the entire way there with his air guitar.
I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was ok. I looked around, saw everyone giving shits about me, said, “Fuck this” (loudly and very clearly), and went right back to sleep. My friends thought it was hilarious. My mom was mortified.
Not anesthesia, but patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema, half conscious response: “honey you know I don’t like it that way”.
Two of my fav, both patients coming out of anesthesia:
“Am I in hell?” I responded “no you’re not, you’re just in recovery.” “…that sounds like something the devil would say. Count backwards from 100 to prove it.”
Or the one who stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, and muttered “you’d make such a great carpet.”
When I was about to go out for surgery. They were strapping me down, and told me it was so that I dont fall off the table. My last words were, it’s ok, 5 second rule..
My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is “this is better than meth”
I had a patient coming out of anesthesia who opened his eyes as I was switching him from a mask to nasal cannula tell me “this hospital has the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen”.
Made me blush I was so flattered, and made the rest of my day awkward with my coworkers teasing me about it.
Whoever you are sleepy man, I simultaneously thank you and hate you.
My husband went under last year, and once he woke up, by a appearances he was as sober as a church mouse. Walking, asking serious questions of the doctor, apparently no issues are all. He remembered the procedure and described it to me in detail. I figured he just never went completely under.
He was craving Chinese food, and nothing would do except for buffet, so we headed down and loaded up our first load of plates. Evidently, he actually woke up from the anesthesia at the buffet. As far as he remembers, he was put under and woke up in front of a plate of chicken teriyaki on a stick.
Not an Anethesiologist, but when I was in the wear-off room after my wisdom teeth removal I started talking about dark doors and mind bees that were tearing me apart from the inside.
I recall nothing
When I got put under for a colonoscopy I didn’t really fall asleep during the countdown. I just looked at the nurse a bit confused and said “Umm, I don’t notice anything.” And she smiled and squeezed my wrist and said “Just give it a moment. As soon as she said that I started fading out and according to her the last thing I mumbled was “Oh that’s fucked, you magic witch.”
Nurse anesthetist here. When I was in school i was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep and going through my regular spiel. I had the mask on her face and I said “nice big breaths” as I pushed propofol. Right before she went out she said ” thanks, I just had them done”. I looked at my preceptor, we looked at the circulator, and we all burst out laughing. I now say “slow deep breaths” instead. I love telling that story, that lady made all our days.
Last year they were knocking me out for a colonoscopy. It was the third time I had been put under in a year.
As such I had a curiosity: I had heard that when they knock you out you are still awake for awhile, you just don’t remember.
So in the spirit of science I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist: when she started the medicine I would begin counting backward. When I would wake up we would compare what I remembered to what she observed.
Plunger down – 99, 98, 97 – I remembered nothing more.
Minutes later I awoke. The anesthesiologist espied me and came over quickly.
“What did you remember?” She asked.
She began laughing.
“You got down to 7!”
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