In ’09, some of our editors were endowed with the opportunity to try out the holy grail of male sex toys: Autoblow. Imagine that: Coming into work and staying asked if you want to experience top-tier pleasures on the cutting edge of design and so suction. Brilliant.My fellas over at Autoblow have a wicked sales made on these below average boys, so , let’s hear how absolutely good they really are.
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Last year, some of our editors were blessed with the opportunity to try out the holy grail of male sex toys: Autoblow. Imagine that: Coming into work and being asked if you want to experience top-tier pleasure on the cutting edge of design and suction. Brilliant.The fellas over at Autoblow are having a wicked sale on these bad boys, so, let’s hear just how good they really are.
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For reasons unknown to me, the employees have asked to remain anonymous with their reviews, and now I’m stuck wondering who’s been lucky enough to get a free BJ from the future. All I know is that it is an act of treachery unparalleled in human history that I have yet to give this beautiful machine a go. Think I’m bullshitting? Check out what the guys had to say below:
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Review #1This machine’s concept is pretty damn awesome. The lips and throat design feels realistic, even down to the “ribbed” throat features. Heat up the required throat lube and you are in business. The different speeds and stroke rhythms are a treat to toggle between to keep it just interesting enough.
Some of the “cons,” if that’s even the correct word for it, were that the machine sounds a little like turning on an XBOX. Also, when trying to hold the machine, it can be somewhat slippery due to the excess lube needed to penetrate the device. However, the latter didn’t stop me from using it more than I care to admit. Seriously. I honest to god drank a case of Gatorade that weekend.
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Review #2The problem with a flesh light is that you’re still the one doing the work. I mean, it feels good, sure, but it’s not exactly easy gripping this big tube with one hand. This machine, though, holy. fucking. shit.Autoblow brings a whole new meaning to ‘kick back and relax.’ I’m almost embarrassed to admit how much I love this thing, but I do love it, and so will you.
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Review #3I was apprehensive at first, but was pleasantly surprised at the effective and enjoyable experience with Autoblow. The variety of modes and options really allow a user to customize the experience for their preferences. I loved having the option to “pause” the activity if things became too intense (which they did!).
The device is well constructed although a bit unwieldy during usage. It takes a moment to find the right position but once you do, it’s blastoff time! The soft latex sleeves were comfortable and easy to clean after a session. The device is a bit loud so would be hard to use discretely with a partner close by, but generally not annoying or obnoxious. All in all, Autoblow is a solid and unique device that does what it says it does. Give the best solo blowjob in the industry.”
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Review #4I’ve got to admit, when I was asked to participate in this review my outlook was probably not as positive as it should have been. It wasn’t because I had any sort of bias towards a product like this, but rather because I’ve only ever really used “toys” with a partner. It seemed somewhat foreign to me to purchase something solely for myself (which I should mention, Autoblow doesn’t have to be). With that said, this little device was a very, very pleasant surprise.
I’m not certain who else was given this product to review, but I’m almost positive everyone would mention it takes a moment to work out the best way to use it on yourself during the first use. I would not let that detour you. The sleeve feels fantastic, the settings are surprisingly unique, and the more you use it the better the experience be… comes. A few cons (if you can even call them that) is that that the device does require a simple cleanup, and the machine makes a bit of noise, but no more than an electric razor or toothbrush would. In fact, it might be quieter.”
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Review #5When I first got my Autoblow in the mail, I was pretty damn excited because I have always wanted to make the future suck my dick and I felt like this was my chance! Boy, did it not disappoint. Had you asked teenage me if one day there would be a machine that could recreate over 250 blowjobs, I would have thought you were crazy and it would have cost of fortune. If you were to provide proof then and there, I would have sold my Nintendo and started saving for this million-dollar machine, so you can imagine how excited I was that this exists and I can get one for less than a weekend of drinking.
This machine kicks ass! While it is somewhat “loud” and a bit hard to handle at first, I quit caring the minute it started teasing my manhood. That’s right I was able to tease myself before going all-in on the deepthroat. I was then able to pick different speeds and even more feel options that I had no clue anyone could do, let alone a machine. In the 2 weeks I have had Autoblow, my work performance has picked up, I am more pleasant to be around, and WAY more relaxed. I did have to break up with my hand, however, which was sad because we have experienced too much together, but when you get a chance at an upgrade you take it!
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Review #6When I was asked to give this sex toy (sex machine?) a try, the first thing I thought was ‘I love my job.’ After actually using it, I LOVE MY JOB.
I’m happy to be giving my wrists a break for a while, but as for my member, well, that’s a different story. Thanks fellas!!
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Billed to be “the best blowjob machine in the world,” we highly, highly, highly recommend you check out Autoblow’s Black Friday deals RIGHT HERE!
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