Britain has been baffled by news of an EU ban on French striped T-shirts, smelly food on trains and some of the most ardent Brexiteers in the country vying for a people’s vote.
But after scrolling through your social media feeds this morning and struggling to find anything that isn’t downright bizarre, you may have remembered what day it is.
From our politicians to police, April Fools’ Day pranks are in full swing, but did you fall for any of them? Here MailOnline takes a look at some of the best – and worst – ones.
Today clothing retailer Boden announced it had permission to produce stripey ‘Breton-style’ T-shirts revoked by the European Union.
They claimed that anyone spotted wearing one in the UK would be fined 1000 euros (£860) and be forced to apply for a special ‘EU shirt licence’.
Those caught flouting the new rules could even end up behind bars, Boden claimed.
Today clothing retailer Boden announced it had permission to produce stripey ‘Breton-style’ T-shirts revoked by the European Union. They are offering a stripe-removal service (pictured)
But fear not, the company known for making Breton tops famous in the UK are offering a thoughtful solution to customers: a Breton stripe removal service.
The complimentary postal service erases illegal stripes by screen-printing, a technique the company calls ‘the Bret-off’.
Johnnie Boden, Boden’s Founder, said: ‘We are committed to maintaining our unrivalled level of customer service, and want to ensure we limit the disappointment during this time.
‘We will therefore be offering a stripe-removal service, free of charge, for all Boden Breton owners.’
Other ‘bans’ have coincidentally come into force on April 1.
British Transport Police tweeted this morning to announce a ban on smelly food on trains
British Transport Police announced this morning that a ‘ground-breaking’ new ban on smelly food is being introduced to make for a more pleasant travel experience.
Their post reads: ‘A stinky sandwich, fermented fish or pungent late night grub on the 11.50pm service to Reading – we all know that smelly foods on board trains cause controversy.
‘That is why today, British Transport Police is announcing a ground-breaking new step in cracking down on the consumption of all foul-smelling foods on board trains, trams and tubes across Britain’s rail network.
‘As part of new anti-social behaviour legislation, those caught consuming offensive edible items while in transit could face a penalty fare of up to £2,000.
‘From today, ‘Consumption of smelly grub’ will become the 27th Railway Byelaw, and repeated offenders may be issued with a Criminal Food Behaviour Order (CBF0) which could prevent them travelling on trains for life or coming within a 50 meter radius of a takeaway shop.
‘Officers will have the power to seize and destroy a variety of foods and snacks, and be issued with special protective gloves and masks to avoid possible contamination.
‘The move has been introduced following a wave of pressure on social media from disgruntled travellers.’
Among the newly-banned items, according to BTP, are eggs, fish, blue cheese, sausage rolls, fermented ‘shark and vegetables’ and fast food.
It included a message from one of BTP’s officers – PC Pete Pong.
He said: ‘Stinky food has been a long-standing contentious issue on Britain’s rail network and I am pleased we could respond to the public’s concerns and work to stamp out this very pressing problem.
‘In my years at BTP I have witnessed numerous horrors, from those thinking it’s acceptable to crack open a homemade tuna sandwich, to others eating boiled eggs like apples. Not OK.
‘BTP is proud to be a progressive force, and I hope passengers welcome this exciting announcement.’
Ardent Brexiteer and radio host Julia Hartley-Brewer shocked her listeners this morning
With the country’s political system in a state of Brexit paralaysis, politicians and political commentators were quick to join in the fun and games.
Ardent Brexiteer and radio host Julia Hartley-Brewer shocked her listeners this morning when she announced: ‘We’re never going to sort this Brexit shenanigans out while our nation is divided.
Mustard Custard launched this morning
‘I’m now going to be pushing for a people’s vote.’
But her Leave supporters breathed a sigh of relief, when she added: ‘Just a reminder – it’s April 1st.’
As the clock struck 12.01am on April 1, the Daily Telegraph warned that the Government has banned April Fools’ Day jokes.
The newspaper claimed a rare parliamentary order has been used amid fears Brexit chaos has resulted in the public no longer being able to tell the difference between reality and the world of make believe.
The statute originated in 1653 and was used when Oliver Cromwell became convicted the public making fun of his warts was an attempt to undermine his civil war against the monarchy.
Today The Sun claimed the Royal Mint is issuing new special-edition 50p coins with different emojis on them.
Fans of the poop, aubergine and crying face emojis will be delighted they can get their hands on the new coins when they come into circulation next month.
Coin expert Penny Silver told the paper: ‘What with Brexit, Royal Mint must have decided everyone could use some light relief.
‘Emojis are a great way to communicate and express ourselves, so it makes sense to mark this with a coin collection.’
Britain’s trusted mustard brand Colman’s was quick to announce the launch of its April 1 product this morning.
Mustard Custard will be hitting the shelves from today for just £1.99 a bottle, the brand claimed.
New Mustard custard can be added to any roast dinner, Colman’s claims
It said: ‘In a bid to aid British woes and streamline the nation’s sauce stash, Colman’s has developed Mustard Custard.
Head of Product Development at Colman’s, Daisy O’Farllop, added: ‘Fifteen years in the making, Colman’s Mustard Custard is our most innovative development to date.’
‘In a world where less is more, we recognised that consumers are crying out for a streamlined condiment stash and we’re confident this one will be loved by the whole family.’
Fast-food lovers are likely to be divided by Deliveroo’s April 1 announcement that it is removing all food outlets that serve food with crusts from its online platform.
The move comes amid growing concern from Deliveroo around a growing group of customers who have launched a petition to have the plain edges of the pizza banned, the app claims.
The food company reports that ‘No crusts’ has become the most frequent menu personalisation request from customers placing pizza orders across all of its 14 markets.
Fast-food lovers are likely to be divided by Deliveroo’s April 1 announcement that it is removing all food outlets that serve food with crusts from its online platform
Psychologists believe that this newfound resentment towards pizza crust may be one of the long-term side effects from parents’ removing the crusts on their children’s sandwiches.
Joe Groves from Deliveroo said: ‘It’s still unclear to us exactly why consumer opinion has dropped so dramatically, despite partners trying to disguise the taste of the plain dough with a selection of delicious dips.
‘The decision to ban crusts on our platform has not been taken lightly, but after receiving millions of complaints from customers receiving crusts on their pizzas we see no other option but to remove them altogether.’
Heathrow Airport today announced it is re-naming four of its terminals after the new generation of royals.
One name is yet to be revealed as the nation awaits the birth of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first child, the airport claimed today.
Heathrow’s busiest terminal, which handles an average of 89,000 passengers on any given day – Terminal 5 will be renamed the ‘Prince George Terminal’.
Heathrow Airport today announced it is re-naming four of its terminals after the new generation of royals. File image of Terminal 5
Heathrow Terminal 4 will be re-named after Princess Charlotte (left) and Terminal 5 will take the name of Prince George (right)
Heathrow’s most diverse terminal, Terminal 4, which is home to 34 airlines flying to 123 different destinations, colloquially known as the commonwealth terminal, will be dubbed the ‘Princess Charlotte Terminal’.
The terminal with the most flights to California, Terminal 3, with flights to 3 of the golden state’s major airports, will have its name changed to the ‘Prince Louis Terminal’ and Heathrow’s newest terminal will be named after the new arrival, once the baby has been christened.
In preparation for the most significant re-branding exercise in the airport’s history, road signs will be changed, taxi drivers briefings are being arranged and satellite navigation systems will be updated, the air hub added.
A spokesman for Heathrow said: ‘Heathrow has a long history of being a transport hub for the UK and for the British royal family, and we are proud to usher in the newest generation of royals by giving them each their own terminal.
‘As the royal family prepare to welcome their new arrival, we’ll be gearing up to welcome our own special arrivals during the Easter holiday peak.’
Premium bootmaker Le Chameau was already preparing their April Fools’ Day shenanigans last week.
In a world first, brand Le Chameau will offer a free Pre Muddé service to add some country charm to their entire boot collection. Pictured, the Portsmouth Peaty mud look
It announced its famous wellington boots – which have been sported by the likes of Kate Middleton and Taylor Swift – are now being made available with mud already on them for that authentic countryside look.
The soil used on their new ‘Pre-Mudde’ model has been curated by the brand’s expert pedologists throughout the UK and Ireland and comes in 24 authentic shades – including Cotswold Brash, London Loam, Sussex Clay and Portsmouth Peaty.
Although the boots aren’t the cheapest on the market, with women’s styles starting at £135 and going up to £420 for leather lined pairs, adding some muddy country charm is free of charge for both the male and female collection.
‘The new Pre Muddé service ensures you will be talk of the village as you embody the true spirit of the countryside,’ said CEO of Le Chameau, David Robinson.
‘You might even reunite with the friends you lost through your questionable etiquette.’
The soil used has been curated by expert pedologists throughout the UK and Ireland. Pictured, the London Loam option
Baby food producer Ella’s Kitchen announced today they are bringing out a new range of products for parents.
Their ‘Ella’s Cocktails’ are ‘packed full of fruity organic goodness’ as well as something ‘a little stronger’ to help them through the trials and tribulations of parenthood.
The ‘Up all night one’ and ‘burp me one’ are available in stores from today, the company claimed.
Mcdonald’s also announced the introduction of a new, revolutionary product – milkshake sauce for chips.
Available in four flavours, strawberry, chocolate, vanilla and banana, customers can finally get their favourite sweet treat to put on their fries.
So far the fast food giant’s Twitter post has had over 100,000 views – so will you be one of the disappointed diners who asks for the milkshake sauce?
Police in Surrey claimed that ‘only a fool’ wouldn’t want to get hold of the keys for one of their new Formula One police cars.
Officers in Reigate and Banstead announced the new vehicles will be in operation across the county to help catch criminals at high speed.
They even offered people the chance to have a look at the new cars, but hinted at an April Fools’ joke, as they will mysteriously disappear at midday today – when pranks are traditionally meant to stop.
A social media spokesman for the force posted: ‘We are excited to introduce the newest vehicles to our fleet here at #Reigate nick.
‘Only a fool wouldn’t want to be fortunate enough to nab the keys for these bad boys today!!
‘Officers will however have to undertake an extensive training course in order to be qualified to drive them and only the best officers with a proven ‘track record’ will be given ‘pole position’ to be put on the course.
‘We are hoping that the introduction of these vehicles will assist us in drastically reducing our response times and at the same time provide us with some much needed ‘street cred’.
‘The new vehicles will be on show to the public outside #Reigate, #Horleyand #Banstead police stations until midday today so feel free to pop down, take a look round and take some pictures.’
Other emergency services jumped on the band wagon, with fire and rescue staff in Henley, Oxfordshire announcing the launch of its new pink fire engine.
The force claimed that pink paint weighs less than red, which will mean painting vehicles a lighter shade will mean they get to blazes quicker.
Other emergency services jumped on the band wagon, with fire and rescue staff in Henley, Oxfordshire announcing the launch of its new pink fire engine
Wilkinson Sword marked April 1 by bringing in a new brand ambassador.
Barbie’s boyfriend Ken is being drafted in to promote its products after a new Ken Doll was created that can grow hair and shave it off in seconds.
A spokesman for Wilkinson Sword said, ‘Ken is one of the most recognised faces in the world – let alone the UK – so when we heard he was sporting a new groomed look the partnership was inevitable.
‘We have long been admirers of Ken’s super smooth style and constant ability to reinvent himself.
‘Wilkinson Sword understands every man’s skin has different needs – even if it is made of plastic – therefore the Hydro 5 Sense product range with its shock absorbing technology that auto-adjusts to apply pressure on and off is the obvious partnership opportunity.
‘Discovering this year Ken was moving into the grooming space with a new versatile facial hairstyle and Ken-sized kid-friendly shaving kit, we thought this was the perfect time to work with the ultimate influencer to celebrate embracing a look that’s one of a Ken-d.’
Barbie’s boyfriend Ken is the new ambassador for shaving brand Wilkinson Sword
The NHS is prescribing Guinness to people with anaemia, insomnia or tiredness, reported the Daily Star today.
But the paper said, regular repeat prescriptions will have to be signed off by GPs weekly to prevent ‘abuse of the system’, an NHS spokesman confirmned.
Conservative MP for Lichfield and Lord Commissioner of the Treasury Michael Fabricant told the Star: ‘They used to say ‘Guinness is Good for You’. I
‘I’m told that nowadays the NHS will not supply it in a pint glass but as an intravenous drip.’
The NHS is prescribing Guinness to people with anaemia, insomnia or tiredness, reported the Daily Star. File image used
Another unusual product reportedly hitting the shelves today is Heinz Creme Egg mayonnaise.
Much-loved brands Heinz and Cadbury are joining forces to give the people of Britain the best of both worlds, they claimed this morning.
The mayonnaise will be sweet in taste and comes complete with bits of chocolate Creme Egg shell mixed in with the sauce.
Much-loved brands Heinz and Cadbury are joining forces to give the people of Britain the best of both worlds – with Seriously good Creme Egg mayonnaise
On the launch, Martina Davis, Brand Manager, Heinz [Seriously] Good Mayonnaise, said: ‘In Heinz’s 150th anniversary year, we want to take every opportunity to celebrate and Easter has always been one of our favourite times of the year. So we set out to create the most Easter-y mayo we could.
‘And who better to partner with than Cadbury Creme Egg – the kings and queens of Easter and another of the nation’s most loved brands!
‘We’re delighted to launch the world’s first-ever Creme Egg Mayo, just in time for Easter.
‘And very happy to report that it’s absolutely DELICIOUS. A real taste adventure. The only question we’re asking ourselves is why we haven’t done it sooner?!’
Raphael Capitani, Brand Manager, Cadbury Creme Egg, said: ‘We’re excited to finally announce our partnership with Heinz to create this gloriously gooey, crazy combination and dream collaboration for so many Cadbury Creme Egg lovers.
‘We couldn’t think of a better partner to make this spread. The surprising taste is so, so delicious!’