Brit graduates are left with bad university degrees that don’t open doors but instead slam them shut

A NERVOUS time for the kids, then. Schools are breaking up — but they can’t quite relax until those dreaded exam results come through next month. Especially the A-levels.

A decent set of A-level results and the kids can get themselves into a university. There, they can enrol in a course on gender studies and emerge in three years with a degree which will not help them one bit to get a decent job.

The new Prime Minister should take a close look at higher education
Alamy

And as a consequence they will be at least £30,000 in debt. But they’ll have a piece of paper which will tell possible employers: “Look — I’ve been a total mug for three years. Gizza job!”

The unemployment rate for students at Britain’s worst universities, such as East London and London South Bank, is around about double the national rate for young people.

In other words, going to university worsened their chances of getting a job.

That’s not what they were led to believe, is it. They were told a university degree would open doors for them. Not slam the doors shut in their spotty faces. And leave them with a whopping loan to pay off.

Our young people have been conned for far too long.

We have a new Prime Minister now. And I think it would be a good idea if he took a very close look at higher education. OK, he’s got Brexit to sort out first, fine. But by November 1, this should be his priority.

We are misleading our young people. Far too many 18-year-olds go to university and end up mired in debt, with rotten degrees in stupid subjects. While all students have to scrimp and save to get through their three years.

Here’s what I would do if I were Education Secretary.

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End all tuition fees right now. Make university education absolutely free, and make sure those who go get decent living grants.

How do we pay for that? Easy. Cut the number of people going to university by 75 per cent. Not everyone is academically minded. University should be only for those who are.

Back when I went to uni only ten per cent of my peer group got in.

But for the rest there were apprenticeships. Learning in the workplace. And those sorts of options should be considered not inferior to university, but absolutely equal. And the benefits stressed to the kids.

Three years after leaving school a university kid will be earning nothing. If you’ve been on an apprenticeship for three years you’ll be earning a decent whack.

We have over-stressed the importance and attraction of a college education to our young people, given them unrealistic expectations and made them pay through the nose for it. And at the same time we’ve devalued education by doing this.

So there’s the challenge, Boris. Get on to the private sector and get some more apprenticeships up and running.

And close down the awful former polytechnics charging a king’s ransom for a crap degree.

Leave? Oh Yas, please!

ONE of the best things about BoJo becoming Prime Minister is that the perpetually screeching Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has vowed to leave the country.

Brown loathes the white English working class.

Getty – Contributor

Thanks to BoJo becoming Prime Minister Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has vowed to leave the country[/caption]

So it was always a mystery to me why she stayed in the country. Seeing as there are quite a lot of white, English, working-class people.

Anyway, she vowed to get the hell out if Johnson became PM.

Trouble is, people say stuff like this but rarely act on it.

I suggest we set up a crowdfunding page for her plane ticket and maybe throw in some extra money for en-route snacks and stuff.

Off you go to Heathrow, Yazza.

Tail-or’s paw show

I MADE a list a few weeks ago about the 20 things I most dislike in the world.

At No14 was Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.

I disliked the musical so much that I’m not going to be watching its new film any time soon

At No6 was Taylor Swift.

And No2 was cats (just below the Republic of Pakistan).

So take a guess as to what new film I’m not going to be watching any time soon?

It’s my nightmare, all wrapped up in two hours.

Failing PCs are too PC

CARL BEECH made a series of outrageous claims of sexual abuse, torture and murder by members of the old Conservative establishment.

This serial liar and fantasist will soon be sentenced for his crimes.

PA:Press Association

The reason the police believed this madman is because they have been told they must[/caption]

The reason the police believed this madman is because they have been told they must. They are no longer allowed to employ common sense.

In order to be politically correct they have had to shed all semblance of judgment.

Pure political bias

THE job of a bookshop, you would have thought, is to sell books.

Trouble is, they are useless at it. They are politically biased and cater solely to a tiny minority of gibbering liberals.

I’ve got a book out at the moment, called The Great Betrayal – The True Story Of Brexit. I’ve had complaints from people who want to read it that they can’t find it in bookshops.

The bookshop staff say they thought there wouldn’t be any interest in it. But it was the No5 best-seller in the country and was No7 on Amazon worldwide. It’s pure political bias.

If you want the book – go on Amazon.

Left are the real clowns

TOP prize in the “Most Rational and Measured Response to Boris Johnson Becoming Prime Minister” goes to – of course – The Guardian.

For this headline: “The Clown Is Crowned As The Country Burns In Hell.”

AFP or licensors

The Left really don’t like it when they don’t get their own way[/caption]

Followed by 1,000 words of hysterical drivel.

Brilliant. The Left really don’t like it when they don’t get their own way.

Anyway, this is but the first example of BDS – Boris Derangement Syndrome. Don’t worry. Lots more of it to come.

Well-known surprise

MAGIC grandpa has a cunning plan!

The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn announced to the Press that he was going to “surprise Boris Johnson” by calling a vote of no confidence.

Getty Images – Getty

The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn announced to the Press that he was going to ‘surprise Boris Johnson’ by calling a vote of no confidence[/caption]

Here’s a tip, you Jew-bothering, bearded c**kwomble.

If you want something to be a surprise for someone, don’t tell every newspaper in the country.

Lacking preparation

THE Islamist crackpots in Iran have hijacked two of our oil tankers. Causing a pretty grave crisis.

But why isn’t the Royal Navy escorting British ships through the Strait of Hormuz, when we know the danger? And if they’re not ready yet to do that, why did we impound an Iranian tanker three weeks ago, knowing there would be reprisals?

We have been naive and underprepared.

 

She likes it her way

SPREAD the glorious news! The Lib Dems have elected a new leader! She’s called Jo Swimsuit or something.

I’m not sure anyone has noticed yet.

EPA

Jo Swinson said even if people voted leave in a second referendum, she’d still ignore it[/caption]

Anyway, she immediately demonstrated her full-blooded support for democracy.

She said even if people voted leave in a second referendum, she’d still ignore it.

Swimsuit only likes democracy when people vote the way she wants.



 

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