BRITS must eat no more than a quarter rasher of bacon and two-thirds of a fish finger daily, a landmark report warns.
Leading experts also want to restrict beef consumption to a 2p-sized patty a day, saying it will help save millions of lives and the planet.
Under the controversial proposals, adults will be expected to fill their diets with whole grains, soy, veg and nuts.
It would see burgers, sausages and steaks taxed to make them less attractive – while items such as baked beans will become cheaper.
Junk food could be banned, while campaigns would promote fruit and veg.
Scientists say each person must be limited to just one-and-a-half eggs a week, while a daily portion of chicken will be limited to a quarter of a breast.
Writing in The Lancet, they claim if everyone went part-vegan – or “flexitarian” – it would save 11 million lives a year globally by 2050.
Brits would have to slash consumption of red meat by four-fifths to 14g daily under the “planetary health diet”.
It would see all adults restricting themselves to a burger a week or a large steak a month.
Officials currently advise adults to eat around 70g of beef, lamb and pork in a day.
The EAT-Lancet Commission spent three years calculating the first scientific targets for a healthy, globally-sustainable diet.
But the panel of experts admitted none of them were on it.
Contributor Professor Tim Lang, from City University, said: “The food we eat and how we produce it determines the health of people and the planet, and we are currently getting this seriously wrong.
Most people will look at these demands and laugh… They say they want to save the planet but it is not clear which planet they are on
Christopher Snowdon, head of lifestyle economics at the Institute of Economic Affairs
“We need a significant overhaul.
“It means the price of meat would go up, and that of baked beans would go down.”
But critics branded the nanny state report “nuts”.
Christopher Snowdon, head of lifestyle economics at the Institute of Economic Affairs, said: “Most people will look at these demands and laugh.
“They are making no secret of their desire to tax and ban their way towards a near-vegan diet for the world’s population.
“They say they want to save the planet but it is not clear which planet they are on.”
Professor Nigel Scollan, a Meat Advisory Panel member, said the report was “demonising” family favourites.
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Prof Scollan, the Director of the Institute for Global Food Security at Queen’s University Belfast, said: “It tells us what we have known for millennia: an omnivorous diet is optimal.
“In the UK, encouraging people to eat less red meat and dairy will have little impact on the environment and is potentially damaging to people’s health, with many missing out on vital nutrients such as zinc and iron.”
Dr Walter Willett, from Harvard University, who co-led the commission, said the targets are achievable.
He said: “The numbers for red meat may seem low to a lot of people – quite a bit less than what we eat in the U.S. and UK – but it’s very much in line with the traditional Mediterranean diet.
“We are not talking about a deprivation diet, we are talking about a way of eating that is healthy, flavourful and enjoyable.
“It means having a hamburger once a week or a big steak once a month.”