KERRY Katona broke down in tears on Celebs Go Dating tonight as she revealed the only time she was “ever in love” was with her first husband Brian McFadden.
The Atomic Kitten star, 38, sobbed as she recalled her dating history and admitted it’s gone “downhill” since her first divorce.
“The only time I was ever in love was my first husband. I look back now and think ‘god we were so young, was it puppy love?’” she told the dating experts.
Brian and Kerry met in 1999 and dated for three years before getting married in 2002 and finalising their divorce in 2006.
“Brian was my the only love of my life and it went downhill from there. When Brian left me I didn’t want to be rich and famous I wanted to belong.”
Becoming overwhelmed with tears, Kerry continued: “I didn’t want my kids to have a broken home. I kept doing the same pattern over and over again.
“But I got to 36 and thought I want someone to hold my hand.
“Obviously my standards have raised and so they should but they have got to a point now where I haven’t let anybody in.”
She joked: “Maybe I should become a lesbian?”
Later in the epidode, Kerry struggled through an agonising date with Welsh business man Nick.
The Atomic Kitten star, 38, bristled as her date, 36, said having her firstborn at the tender age of 20 was a mistake and mocked her for splashing over £100,000 on three weddings.
The dad of two boasted that he owns five franchises of Subway and things got off to a bad start when he ordered a sparkling water leaving booze-loving Kerry with a lime and soda after insisting she wanted to be on the “same level” as her date.
“I’m a proper home bird,” she explained.
When asked how many kids she has, Kerry gushed: “A million! I’ve got five.”
Kerry was impressed as “proper dad” Nick said he has two sons and does the school run most days.
He explained he’s never been married and wouldn’t because he can “think of better things to spend £30k on”.
He asked Kerry how many times she’s walked down the aisle and when she revealed she’s had three weddings, he said: “That’s £100,000 + on weddings for you, did you pay for them?”
Shocked, she indignantly replied: “Yes, who else pays for them?”
He answered: “Well at least you had a nice time, good day out isn’t it.”
The awkwardness continued as Nick explained he only wants to see a woman “once or twice a week”.
“Sounds like you’re looking for a cleaner,” Kerry remarked.
Talking about the future, she said: “I think in 10 years time I’d like to be a grandma.”
And Nick said of her having her first child at 20, “You learn from your mistakes though don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t say it was a mistake,” she replied.
Explaining to camera later, she said: “Having five kids and raising them all by yourself is not a mistake, who does this guy think he is?!”
Nick continued to enrage Kerry when he said mothers “overreact” to the pain of childbirth.
“Go and p**s a pineapple out and tell me how much it hurts, that’s exactly what it’s like,” she said.
Leaving the date, she said: “What a d**k!
And viewers agreed with Kerry, rushing to Twitter to comment on her date.
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“Who says they only want to see someone once a week? He just wants a booty call.
“The worst thing was it wasn’t his accent that put me off it was his f***ing attitude.”
Celebs Go Dating continues weekdays on E4 at 9pm.
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