It can be embarrassing to ask your doctor a personal question about your health, but owning that question rather than “asking for a friend” is almost always the better option, as demonstrated by the stories that follow:
One girl was interested in laxatives “for a friend.” She try to learn everything about the dose, where what to buy, how to drink. She was brought in a week later with complete intestinal atony. She tried to lose weight so much and drank two or three tablets at a time.
ER doc. Had a guy who just got out of jail a few days earlier came in with his GF who had signed in for an STD check. Walk in to meet them and he says casually “Is it possible to get gonorrhea in your throat?”
At that moment I knew he had gonorrhea in his throat.
My father is a doctor and he got a call once in the middle of the night from his call share doctors patient. The man asked what to do about a bump on his “friends” arm that he scratched and something came out. He mentioned it was leaking a little oil now. It was a zit. He scratched a pimple. Woke the whole family up at 3 am because he had to page my dad over a zit.
Lady walks in and goes “so if you cheated and got pregnant, but then had sex with your husband would the baby become his?” it took everything in me not to laugh
I was asked the following:
‘So if I swallow cum and flush it down with vodka, do I still get pregnant?’
She was in early 20s, she waited for her actual friend who broke her nose in a bar fight.
Wife’s dad is a urologist. When we first started dating a friend of mine wanted her to ask if any of the penis enlargement pills were legit and actually worked. She went with the “asking for a friend approach” and he immediately assumed she was talking about me. Thanks babe!
Not a doctor but I used to work next to a pharmacy and my boss, a 55 y/o man asked me to go buy him some condoms “for his nephew”.
Not a doctor but a public health worker.
Had an older man come into our clinic asking for a specific type of STD check. Guy’s ex-wife was going around telling rumors that he was having sex with his goats so was wanting to know if there was a way we could do a STD test that could prove if he had/hadn’t had sex with any goats. Through this whole conversation, he just abruptly asks, “So if someone was having sex with a goat, what STDs could they get?”
That dude is totally fucking his goats.
Not a doctor, but was mistaken for one by a drunk dude at a costume party once. Ok, twice. Sent him to sober up the first time, comes back 5 minutes later with no recollection of our first conversation and asks me for painkillers, and at which dose they kill you.
I gave him the number for the suicide prevention hotline on a napkin and told him that they can help with the issue. He happily staggered away and I haven’t heard from him since.
Either he got help, or he didn’t, but either way, it was a weird experience.
I asked my doctor about AA for a friend of mine. Really. Years later the doctor still asks me how I’m doing with my sobriety. I’ve stopped trying to convince him I really was asking for a friend.
Not mine but one of the older pharmacists I work with went out to help this 20ish girl with some med questions. She then asked him about condoms and said, “if you were to do me, what condom would you use?” Yeah…he just walked away
Not a doctor but a pharmacist. Someone called the pharmacy one day, a young guy, I picked up. -excuse me, how much does Viagra cost? Is there anything cheaper? I have someone that needs it. I explain everything and suddenly … -Will it work if I take it with alcohol?
The guy began asking for someone else, at the end was for him and was asking just because he wanted his little one to work while drunk….
Studies have been done about the affects of THC on glaucoma. When I worked for a glaucoma specialist we had a hippie-type person come in with their family member for a new patient eval and ask the doctor to sign paperwork okaying a medical marijuana script for “the patient’s” glaucoma.
Problem was the patient was totally fine, didn’t find any signs of the disease and his eye pressure was within normal limits. And the doctor did NOT appreciate having someone try to trick him.
Not a doctor. But I was an intern.
I was in the OPD and this man from a different province came in and told me his friend has injected petroleum jelly in their member years ago and that now it’s getting painful. Yeaaa, he came back the next day and showed his lumpy member.
Not a doctor, heard this one from my cousin; A guy comes in and asks If it’s possible to get a girl pregnant with someone elses sperm if “guy A had sex with guy B before banging C female?”
Wish I knew the full story.
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