Not a florist by my mom had an amazing one. After a pretty big argument she had flowers sent to my dads work. He was out in the garage so they paged him over the intercom to come get them. I was happy that she was going to say sorry so in his worse he strode into the office to get them. It was a cactus and the card just said “sit on it”.
Someone once asked to purchase a dozen dead roses with a card saying « like these flowers, my love for you has died »
Oddest is how common we get asked to “just write something nice”. Normally this is from guys sending flowers to their wives, like dude, I don’t know her, you really should be better at this me!
I had a customer come in 30 minutes before we closed and asked me to throw together a beautiful bouquet of roses and sunflowers and lillies and the card said “sorry I hit your dog”
A close friend of mine is a florist and has a photo of a card she had to write. I’ll see if I can get it to post, but the text was a rather shoe-horned poem that was essentially saying “spread these flower petals on your bed so it smells nice or learn how to do your laundry, otherwise we’re never having sex again.”
Valentines Day card that said, “I have a heart on for you.”
I had a customer order flowers to someone congratulating them on their new tumor and wishing them a protracted and painful death. Needless to say I refused to accept the order and threatened to quit when my boss tried to force the issue. Fortunately the owner was in the shop, heard the ruckus and immediately overruled my boss.
Not a florist, but earlier this year my boyfriend and I temporarily moved into his mother’s house because we couldn’t work from home in our teeny apartment. We moved into our new apartment recently and my boyfriend orders me flowers as a surprise for delivery. As a joke (I promise) he ordered the note to say “sorry I wouldn’t eat your ass” on the tag. Guess which address got autofilled on the delivery…
Yep. Needless to say I will be avoiding the in-laws this Christmas.
“Welcome to Dumpville.
And he did it all the time.
I was manning the front desk at a Polish retirement home, a lifetime ago. Flowers got delivered for one of the residents that said:
Mam nadzieję, że umrzesz
I thought it was just normal sweetness till one of the other staff told me that says, “I hope you die”.
Working at a hospital gift shop with flowers “Love, Your Purple Power Ranger”
Not really weird. Just different but I still remember it after almost 10 years
Not a florist, but somebody once sent me a bouquet of sunflowers with a card that said ‘I miss you son’. My dad died in 2011. He didn’t have any friends in the city since he worked overseas and we also relocated a couple of times after his death. And btw he didn’t like sunflowers.
Not a florist but a cake decorator, but-
Censoring and all. I didn’t ask why they’d want it but he looked rather smug when he saw it.
I don’t remember the message but it was signed
AKA The Lickmaster”
“The floor is lava”
An ex was out of town for my 21st birthday and sent me an edible arrangement of chocolate covered strawberries. The card just said “I asked them to fill these with beer but they refused. Assholes.”
it was for a funeral,
on the card, it read:
“I am sorry for your loss Y/N! It will get all better, if you don’t end up like you nephew here, that is.”
I was trying not to laugh, but it was a serious situation, so I kept it professional.
I AM a florist, here are some I remember.
“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition”
Had a guy buy flowers for his wife AND mistress in one go, wrote the same card for both
In a very wealthy community I worked in there was a swingers party every year called “Band Camp”. These people would send $150 arrangements to each other with these weird messages like “Cant wait for you to show me your flute skills at Band Camp” or “Thanks for coming over with Frank to ‘tune up’ my piano for Band Camp”. We could not figure out what was going on!
I eventually met a dog walker in that town who had been invited to Band Camp, and the richies gather up all the attractive landscapers, dog walkers, house keepers, etc and invite them to Band Camp(one the estates throws a big party with bands) and everyone tries to fuck the help. I was slightly offended I never got invited.
A lot of sappy sweet shit. We do read them and discuss any unusual ones amongst ourselves. What I dont think a lot fo people realize is that we get allllll the dirt on people. We are there for births, weddings, graduations, deaths.
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