Gender-fluid model Rain Dove was recently maced by a stranger in a public bathroom — and then tracked down by that woman on social media, who wanted another chance to attack.
Rain has made headlines for continually challenging gender norms and the concept of gender altogether. The 29-year-old has also been featured in several major magazines and posed for a campaign for Sisley.
Rain’s success and advocacy, however, have made the model a target. Speaking on Instagram, Rain went into detail about a woman who attacked with pepper-spray and then sent a series of vile messages online.
Attacked: Rain Dove is a gender-fluid model who prefers the use of the pronoun ‘they’ rather than ‘he’ or ‘she’
Double dose of hatred: The 29-year-old was recently attacked with pepper spray in a women’s bathroom, then tracked down by the attacker on Instagram
Story: Rain recalled the moment in an Instagram caption, posting the direct message conversation they had
Rain, who has been dating actress Rose McGowan since the summer, took to Instagram last week to share the story, posting screengrabs of a direct message conversation.
‘This person peppersprayed me in a “women’s restroom” a little bit ago,’ the caption explained.
‘I didn’t get to converse with this being because this person just sprayed me and ran past with their kids in terror, asking the security guard to come in and confront me.
‘I wasn’t even able to get the humans name because of the chaos and the washing, Rain went on. ‘But it happens moderately often especially while traveling that people get scared or volatile when I go into the restroom so I just shrugged it off and continued life.
‘Then suddenly out of the blue this person contacted me again. We had a conversation and here’s how it went.’
In the messages, the woman — who pepper-sprayed Rain and then took the time to track the model down on social media — started off with insults.
Together: Rain has been dating Rose McGowan since earlier this year
Standing out: The androgynous model is known for having a buxom figure and a more masculine face and hairdo
Look here: When Rain’s attacker reached out on Instagram, the model sent a selfie while holding a passport
Box checked: The passport shows Rain’s sex as legally female
Great comeback: ‘Bt you dinnt look line one,’ the mother replied
‘Hola! I am the mother that maced you in the ladies room last week and I would do it again,’ she wrote. ‘I hope that pepper-spray burned the f*** out of you.
‘I think it’s sick that you go into ladies rooms and you encourage others to do it on social media. Go to the 1 your ID says to! Keep you nastie d*** away from us! [sic]’
Rain, meanwhile, responded via the ‘kill them with kindness’ route.
‘Why hello there friend — I’m glad you reached out. I was so tied up washing out my eyes and talking to the security guard I didn’t get to say what I wanted to say before you left!’
Rain then sent a selfie, holding up a photo of a passport. Subsequent close-ups show the model’s sex listed as female.
‘Bt you dinnt look like one,’ the attacker replied.
‘Why would you say that?’ asked Rain.
‘Idk. I was gunna say short hair but I guess you coulda been a person with cancer or meth addiction or just a dyke. I guess cuz your tall but I guess female basketball players are tall to. Your face though is really manly. That what did it for me the face [sic].’
Manly? The attacker then went through her argument and realized it didn’t really make sense
Feelings: Rain replied by showing that F seemed to stand for Fail, not Female
Kindness: Rain launched into an incredibly generous and patient response, which seemed to get the mother’s attention
Despite being repeatedly insulted, Rain continued back kindly, writing: ‘I get that a lot. That’s why growing up I always felt that the F stood for this…’
Rain then replied with a doctored image of the passport, with the word FAIL written where before it had just said F.
‘Dang. That’s heavy,’ the mother replied.
Rain answered: ‘What I wanted to say to you before you left so quickly was that while you hurt me I still admire your bravery. You were protecting yourself against what you believed to be a tall cis man coming in to the restroom.
‘With many warnings growing up about getting hurt or even raped in the bathroom by deviant men it’s easy to be brainwashed into thinking that anyone that is what society seems to be a penis-bearer will have negative or sexual intentions when in an intimate place. You did what you thought was right int he moment and that takes courage.’
‘Dang,’ the mother replies. ‘Does this happen often?’
‘More than it should yes,’ wrote Rain.
Changing her tune: The attacker even apologized and asked Rain’s advice for behaving better in the future
Good advice: Rain urged the woman to notice people’s actions rather than judge by appearance
‘I feel dumb now,’ the woman said, adding that she won’t attack int he future
‘I’m sorry. It sounds like your the brave 1. Dang [sic],’ the mother answered. ‘I don’t get this trans stuff. What if next time it definitely is a men in the ladies room? How do I balance being fair and not judging with protecting myself and my kids?’
‘Good question thanks for asking!’ wrote Rain. ‘That was my #2 point (pun not intended). First of all it’s great that you want to drop the judgement because there’s no way to “look like a girl” or a “boy”. Everyone just looks like themselves.
‘So seeing them as an individual is really important and respectful. If you see them as an individual then you can assess them as an individual as well.
‘Look at their actual actions as an individual, If a person is advancing on you, using inappropriate or threatening language, or brandishing their genitalia in a way that is not aimed at a toilet/urinal then act in a sensible way that’s self-protective.
‘Otherwise, who cares if someone with the opposite genitals is in the room with you. It’s not like their splash back onto the toilet seat will impregnate you or give you an STD. And even if that were a concern no matter who’s been on the toilet I always recommend wiping it down before taking a squat.
‘I feel dumb now,’ the mother replied.
Contrast: Rain often posts provocative photos on social media, including this one with breasts out and then bound
That’s progress! Rain also noted that the pair had a Skype call set up to talk more
‘Don’t,’ Rain answered patiently. ‘You just evolved to the next level of humanity. Celebrate it and take others with you.’
‘I still don’t like trans people in the bathroom but I won’t mace anyone next time,’ the mother answered.
‘That’s really the basics of all we (those that are not commonly aesthetically conforming or trans) ask,’ said Rain. ‘Keep your hands and eyes to yourself and we will keep ours to ourselves. The poop will come out, the pee will be free. It’s all good! I promise.’
In the caption on the Instagram post, Rain went on to say that the pair had even scheduled a Skype call to discuss the matter further, and loop in one of Rain’s trans friends.
‘In exchange we are buying this person lunch via delivery,’ the caption went on. ‘Just get the education out there. Stop the pain. Stop the violence. Stop the homogeneous assessment. See me for my actions not my body. I am an experience. I am intentions. I am an awareness. Not simply flesh.’
Technicality: Posting this picture, Rain argued that it didn’t violate Instagram rules since the model does not identify as a woman
‘Just get the education out there. Stop the pain. Stop the violence. Stop the homogeneous assessment. See me for my actions not my body,’ Rain wrote.
Commenters quickly applauded Rain, not just for speaking so eloquently, but for having the patience to try to change the mother’s mind, rather than attack back.
‘You are such a better person than me,’ wrote one.
‘You’re amazing Rain, I’m sorry you can’t go to the bathroom in peace. Something many of us don’t think twice about, merely because you live authentically,’ wrote another.
Added a third: ‘Now THIS kind of response is how you make the world a safe place for EVERYBODY. Don’t ever give someone a reason to fear who you are.’