My glasses didn’t match my uniform. He told me to change them. I said no because I don’t have vision insurance. I told my boss I am not paying $600 or more just because my blue glasses don’t go with my Olive Garden uniform. He was still insisting I change them. I told him to pay for my glasses then. Needless to say my boss shut up real quick.
I used to grab a chicken sandwich on my first break at work. Apparently, some new hire assumed I was going to lunch 2 hours into my shift. After I came back 15 minutes later (our standard break time) I got called in to ask why I felt I should be going to lunch. Told them I didn’t and to check my time card.
Work at a place for roughly five years while never missing a day, calling in or leaving early.
Be told regularly by almost everyone but management that you are one of the best workers present.
Use the restroom one time— if that— an eight hour shift.
Effect no one as I hurt myself holding until a perfect time.
Get called to the office and told that I may not be able to do my job as my twenty-thirty minutes of being in the restroom “for whatever reason” is causing issues and the boss doesn’t want to be seen as showing favoritism (aka someone is snitching).
Rebut that I’ve been here for a while and ask for one example of when my job wasn’t performed in a timely/correct manner.
Get a blank stare and be told to handle things better.
Back when I was an intern, a coworker told me to give a pile of papers to my boss and to tell him that he is an “asshole”. He told me explicitly that I have to call him that way. I went to my boss’s office, told him who send him the papers and then I told him “Well, he also said that I should say something to you, which is really unplea” – “Is it that I am an asshole?” me:”Well yes but”- Him:”It’s ok, he’s one too”. It turned out that those two guys are basically bffs and that they constantly do something like this.
To pull me away from a customer, who was yelling at me, who my manager knew was fucking crazy. He even pulled the whole “SPWF! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!” down-the-hallway gag. The customer just gave me thar smug “ha ha” look as I walked away. I was shaken up by it but as soon as I walked in and closed the door, he apologized and told me that the customer who was just yelling at me had been banned from our business for causing shit with employees and other customers and as soon as my manager saw them walk in, he called the cops and the cops were on their way.
He then pulls up the cameras on his computer and says “I’ll be right back. Watch this” and he leaves his office. I watch the cameras and see him walk right up to the cops who just entered, take the cops to the customer, and has the cops escort the customer out of the building. He then turns to the camera and gives a big thumbs up.
“Hey, u/Closer67, could you come to the office?”
“Someone wrote a review complaining about doing your job too well.”
“I’m serious. Take a look.”
Review goes on to talk about how the reviewer’s son and friends had attempted to see Deadpool, I had denied them entry, sold them tickets to a different movie, found them trying to sneak into Deadpool and consequently kicked them out of the theater and denied them a refund. Then, it talked about how I, and a second employee who was involved, should be fired and how good of an employee a third employee was who gave the kids their refunds
“Are you serious right now? He gave them a refund, and now this person is complaining about me following policy while acknowledging exactly what was going on?”
“Yep. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna write you up or warn you or anything. Just wanted to tell you ‘Good job”. Now, could you do me a favor and send in (third employee who gave the refund)?”
He was playing Factorio and forgot why he called me in, so he showed me his setup for 20 minutes.
In the early 2000s my boss called me in so he could show me Wikipedia, which he had just discovered. He says “ask me anything and I’ll find the answer!” I asked how many tacos are sold per day in San Antonio. He was angry because that’s “obviously not a question that Wikipedia can answer”.
The new policy of not transporting wildlife in the work van had to be explained to me, because a) I was the reason the policy came into existence and b) I was the only person on the site it would ever apply to.
It was a sparrow that had flown into a window. I carried it back to the mailroom, found a box, and took it to a wildlife rehabber that night. The employee driving the van was VERY concerned about this tiny half-ounce bird getting loose in the van and attacking her.
Used to make levels for Quake while taking tech support calls. One day, while modeling a level and doing an FFR (Fdisk, format, reinstall) I notice a boss out of the corner of my eye. Fuck it. I’m busted. I don’t even try to hide what I’m doing. Mute the customer and ask if he needs anything. “Put yourself in time when you get off this call. I’d like to see you in the pit.”
The pit was a corner of the call center where all the lead techs and bosses sat.
My stomach lurches.
“Ok.” I turn my attention back to the caller and finish up in about another 20 mins. I loved this job. I’m really bummed. I switch my status and start walking back to the pit, except now there’s THREE bosses right outside my cubicle.
“Can you do a level that’s the floor plan of the call center, with the elevator and all?”
I was promoted a month later.
She wanted me to watch the detective pikachu trailer with her.
She wanted me to decorate her office for the halloween decorating contest since I wasn’t worthy of having an office. I said fuck that, and decorated the closet by my cube, and won. Yea I won a starbuck gift card with $1.90 on it. Appears our HR lady bought a 5 dollar gift card, used that to buy a drink, then sent it to me….
He found the script for Monty Python online and called me into his office to act out the parts.
I worked at this ad agency and the creative VP on my team called me into his office one day and put on the video for “I Fink U Freeky” by Die Antwoord. He made me sit through it and then asked me if I could explain it to him, because his son was really into them and he just didn’t get it. Since I was just a few years older than his son I guess he thought I might be able to explain it to him.
I worked a job where we had to wear ugly pant suits and we kept our blazers at the office. I walked in one day to find my blazer missing, and my boss called me and asked me to come to her office and let me know she’d borrowed it. I get to her office to find that she’d borrowed my blazer because she’d been “out partying at the beach last night and woke up late” so she was wearing a bathing suit bikini under her uniform. She’d borrowed my blazer to hide the bright orange you could clearly see through her work shirt. The best part was, the reason she’d been at the beach was that she’d needed to get a tan so that she could pull off “faking being on vacation in Hawaii”.
She’d lied to the guy she was sleeping with and said she was going on vacation to make him “miss her” and she’d gone tanning and even BOUGHT FAKE SOUVENIRS to make it seem legit. Craziest boss I ever had.
I made a girl uncomfortable because I told her one of my friends was killed in a shooting a few days before (it was relevant to the convo). They said they would fire me if I ever made an employee feel uncomfortable again. REI by the way. Top 100 places to work my asshole.
Not me but my coworker. We had a work pot luck for Christmas and everyone would write on a sheet what they were bringing. Dude has the penmanship of a 3 year old and says he’ll bring “my wifes dainties” (small assorted desserts). Boss read it as “my wifes panties” and immediately took the guy to HR without even asking what it said. Panties guy is also kind of a spaz and 50 years old so it was pretty fun seeing it happen.
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