Husband who transitioned to become a woman insists it has strengthened marriage

A husband who transitioned to become a woman after spending $29,000 on surgery has insisted that it has strengthened her marriage – despite her wife needing eight months in therapy to come to terms with being in a ‘lesbian’ relationship.   

Taylor Vanmalsen, 29, from Michigan, has lived as a male for the majority of her life even though she secretly wanted to be a female from a young age. 

The inventory manager is married to Sarah, 27, who knew her husband wanted to live life as a woman from the start of their relationship, but went to a therapist to deal with anxiety before becoming the main ‘driving force’ behind Taylor’s transition in 2018. 

Taylor spent her life savings and used her credit card to have surgery to move the eyebrow bone to make it appear more feminine, her Adam’s apple removed, breast augmentation and lip filler, but says full gender reassignment ‘isn’t on the agenda yet’.

Taylor Vanmalsen, 29, from Michigan (right) who transitioned to become a woman after spending $29,000 on surgery has insisted that it has strengthened her marriage to wife Sarah, 27, (left). The couple share a daughter, Valerie, 21 months

Taylor Vanmalsen, 29, from Michigan (right) who transitioned to become a woman after spending $29,000 on surgery has insisted that it has strengthened her marriage to wife Sarah, 27, (left). The couple share a daughter, Valerie, 21 months

Taylor Vanmalsen, 29, from Michigan (right) who transitioned to become a woman after spending $29,000 on surgery has insisted that it has strengthened her marriage to wife Sarah, 27, (left). The couple share a daughter, Valerie, 21 months 

Taylor Vanmalsen (pictured before her transition), 29, from Michigan, has lived as a male for the majority of her life despite secretly wanting to be a female from a young age

Taylor Vanmalsen (pictured before her transition), 29, from Michigan, has lived as a male for the majority of her life despite secretly wanting to be a female from a young age

Taylor, pictured in her younger years when she was still living as a man

Taylor, pictured in her younger years when she was still living as a man

Taylor Vanmalsen (pictured before her transition), 29, from Michigan, has lived as a male for the majority of her life despite secretly wanting to be a female from a young age

Taylor, who shares daughter Valerie, now 21 months, with Sarah, insists her transition has strengthened her marriage because she’s ‘no longer depressed and is able to give her wife her full attention’.

She said: ‘I want to show other trans people that you can still be happily married. Trans partners may look a little different on the outside, but they are still the same person but happier.

‘I am now becoming the real Taylor, I decided to keep my birth name which I hated as a boy. Ironically people used to always say, “That sounds like a girl’s name”. 

She added: ‘A lot of people are interested in our sex life and wonder if I have had gender reassignment, but that isn’t on the agenda yet. My main priority was presenting as a female so I can be me.

‘However, I am still trying to find my confidence when it comes to shopping and going into public toilets. I often just hold it because I don’t want to get beat up by men or screamed at by women.’

The inventory manager (pictured with her wife and daughter post-operations) is married to Sarah, 27, who knew her husband wanted to live life as a woman from the start of their relationship

The inventory manager (pictured with her wife and daughter post-operations) is married to Sarah, 27, who knew her husband wanted to live life as a woman from the start of their relationship

The inventory manager (pictured with her wife and daughter post-operations) is married to Sarah, 27, who knew her husband wanted to live life as a woman from the start of their relationship

Sarah, pictured left with Taylor after her surgery, went to a therapist to deal with anxiety before becoming the main 'driving force' behind her partner's transition in 2018

Sarah, pictured left with Taylor after her surgery, went to a therapist to deal with anxiety before becoming the main 'driving force' behind her partner's transition in 2018

Taylor pictured recently, says she's happier now, living as a woman

Taylor pictured recently, says she's happier now, living as a woman

Sarah, pictured left with Taylor after her surgery, went to a therapist to deal with anxiety before becoming the main ‘driving force’ behind her partner’s transition in 2018

Taylor (pictured with her wife before surgery) spent her life savings and credit card on having her brow reduced, Adam's apple removed, breast augmentation and lip filler. She says gender reassignment 'isn't on the agenda yet'

Taylor (pictured with her wife before surgery) spent her life savings and credit card on having her brow reduced, Adam's apple removed, breast augmentation and lip filler. She says gender reassignment 'isn't on the agenda yet'

Taylor (pictured with her wife before surgery) spent her life savings and credit card on having her brow reduced, Adam’s apple removed, breast augmentation and lip filler. She says gender reassignment ‘isn’t on the agenda yet’

Taylor was honest with with her wife when they started dated, which helped the couple form a strong bond, recalling: ‘Sarah was the first person I ever told and she was thankful for my honesty.

‘It was weird at the beginning because she stayed with me even though she knew my secret. 

‘I feel like I was cheating her out of a spouse before, because I was always down and just a shell of myself. But now I am able to be me, and give Sarah all my love and affection.’

Sarah, who is a customer service trainer, went to a therapist for eight months to help her deal with anxiety and come to terms with being in a ‘lesbian’ relationship. She then prompted Taylor to begin transitioning.

Taylor was honest with with her wife when they started dated which helped the couple, pictured with their daughter, form a strong bond

Taylor was honest with with her wife when they started dated which helped the couple, pictured with their daughter, form a strong bond

Taylor was honest with with her wife when they started dated which helped the couple, pictured with their daughter, form a strong bond

Sarah (pictured left with Taylor before her operation), who is a customer service trainer, went to a therapist for eight months to help her deal with anxiety and come to terms with being in a 'lesbian' relationship

Sarah (pictured left with Taylor before her operation), who is a customer service trainer, went to a therapist for eight months to help her deal with anxiety and come to terms with being in a 'lesbian' relationship

Taylor pictured after surgery

Taylor pictured after surgery

Sarah (pictured left with Taylor before her operation), who is a customer service trainer, went to a therapist for eight months to help her deal with anxiety and come to terms with being in a ‘lesbian’ relationship

The mother-of-one said: ‘I lived a pretty sheltered life and didn’t know what trans was, so when Taylor first told me I just said “OK, thank you for letting me know”, and we just got on with it.

‘But as the years passed, Taylor got more and more depressed and the “secret” was really bothering her. I began suffering with anxiety because I feared I may return from work one day and Taylor may have hurt herself, she was that low.

‘I knew the only way to put an end to the depression would be a transition, but I wasn’t able to fully come to terms with it overnight. The therapist helped me overcome my anxiety and I also had to work on what it will be like.

‘I discovered it wouldn’t matter and all of my “what ifs” were worked on. I thought I would be sad but I couldn’t be happier. It is refreshing to see Taylor truly feel happy and slowly but surely gain some confidence in who she really is.’ 

Taylor (pictured with her daughter after her operation) admitted she felt nervous about becoming a parent but Valerie has completely change her perception

Taylor (pictured with her daughter after her operation) admitted she felt nervous about becoming a parent but Valerie has completely change her perception

Taylor seen with her wife before the surgery

Taylor seen with her wife before the surgery

Taylor (pictured left with her daughter after her operation, and right with her wife before the surgery) admitted she felt nervous about becoming a parent but Valerie has completely change her perception

Sarah (above with her husband after her surgeries) claims she is often praised for staying with Taylor despite a sex change

Sarah (above with her husband after her surgeries) claims she is often praised for staying with Taylor despite a sex change

Sarah (above with her husband after her surgeries) claims she is often praised for staying with Taylor despite a sex change

Taylor admitted she felt nervous about becoming a parent but Valerie has completely change her perception.

She preserved her fertility prior to transitioning so they can expand their family in the future. 

Sarah claims she is often praised for staying with Taylor despite a sex change.

She said: ‘People think I am awesome for staying in the relationship but I didn’t have to say yes to marriage – I knew who Taylor was from the beginning. It would have been a shock if she had told me ten years later!

‘I fell in love with Taylor, for Taylor and it is amazing to see how much happier she is. We will be open and honest with Valerie reading kid-friendly books but to us, it doesn’t matter as she has two parents who love her – no matter what.’

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