DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having sex with a married man and his son – but I didn’t know they were related.
I’m a 25-year-old girl and I’ve always liked older men. I met this man at my job at a cinema.
I realised I had bedded my lover’s dad too – and blurted it out when I saw a pic in my young guy’s flat[/caption]
He’s 45 and works for one of our concessions. He has the look of George Clooney — handsome and greying at the temples.
He came over to talk to me one afternoon while it was quiet. He asked me whether I was free after my shift and offered to take me to dinner.
We had a great meal and he dropped me off at home later. Then he sent me a naughty text and arranged to see me the following evening. This time I offered to cook at my flat.
He brought some lovely wine and when we finished it, he kissed me. We went through to my bedroom and fell into bed. It was the best sex I’d ever had. We were like the perfect couple after that with him coming over several evenings a week. We did normal couple-type things, though he never stayed the night.
My lover also said his parents are happily married – I said ‘he shouldn’t be having sex with me, then’[/caption]
A suspicious friend from work followed him on Facebook and showed me an old photo of my lover getting married. I confronted him and he said his marriage was over and I needed to give him time to divorce.
I felt low after that so went out with some girlfriends. I got chatting with a fit young guy at the bar and we had a few drinks together. He was 21.
I went back to his flat with him and we had a night of sex. The following morning I looked round a bit while he made me a coffee. I was shocked to my bones when I saw a photo on a shelf of my other lover with a woman around his own age.
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I tried to sound casual and asked, “Who are the smiling couple?”. He said his mum and dad. I asked if they were divorced and he said, “No, happily together”. I felt sick and said, “Well, he shouldn’t be coming round mine for sex every other night then”, and stormed out.
My lover has now blocked me on everything. I love him and I don’t know what to do.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m afraid you’re learning a tough lesson – this guy was never going to give you the meaningful relationship you long for.
Best for you now to lie low and get on with your life without either of these men.
You deserve to find somebody who wants what you do and is free of emotional baggage.
Get out with your friends and find somebody who can give you 100 per cent attention.
My e-leaflet Your Lover Not Free? can help you move on.
Liking older men can be a trap in that they are so often already committed. Is your dad missing from your life maybe?
If this could be an issue for you, counselling could help. See bacp.co.uk.