If any of these stories are relatable – you might be an introvert
Not long ago, I started working in an office, and it just so happened that now I work alone in one of the offices. Every person that comes into my office thinks that it is necessary to say how sorry they are about me working alone all day. And I’m just there thinking, God, this is awesome!
My roommates decided to have a random study party, with like 20 people in our tiny apartment. Because of the unexpected intrusion, I got into the router settings and throttled the internet to dial-up era speeds. While my roommates were trying to figure out what was happening, I told them we simply had too many people splitting the bandwidth and in annoyance, they all left for the library. Best 8 hours of silence ever.
I saw a guy with his girlfriend walking in the park and taking several horse chestnuts from a tree. They were discussing how they could cook and eat them. If you are reading this, they are inedible, don’t try to eat them. I’m sorry for not telling you this in person. I’m an introvert.
I moved to Japan because you don’t have to make small talk with strangers ever.
In childhood, we would feel a rush of adrenaline when we rang someone’s doorbell and ran away. Now we get a rush of adrenaline when someone rings our doorbell.
After 5 years of working from home, I found a job at an office. And there are people there! Well, I’m becoming more social at the moment: I’m almost at the point when I can loudly say “Bye, everyone!” when leaving.
I never answer the door unless I’m expecting someone. Just today actually, my neighbor was knocking on my door this morning and I didn’t answer. When it was time to head to work I realized I didn’t have my keys. I think my neighbor found them and was trying to return them. Let this be a lesson to my fellow introverts. Don’t leave your keys in your door.
Introvert tip: Always have a bowl and spoon on your desk. When coworkers come to your office they’ll think you’re eating lunch, which increases the chances of them leaving you alone.
I went on a 3-week camping trip to avoid 2 family reunions.
Before her birthday, a colleague of mine came up to me and asked me to tell the others that she didn’t want to be congratulated. At all. She was ready to bring a cake and share it with everyone but she didn’t want any kind words or toasts. She said she would be offended if we said something. I think this is a normal thing to ask — I hate these parties, too. She said she didn’t want any parties or attention. But the guys still did it — with poems and songs and stuff. And everyone was baffled when she got angry and didn’t want to talk to anyone that day.
When I hear that my neighbors are near my door, I wait for them to leave and only then do I go out. God, I’m an introvert!
Twice a week, I lie to my husband. I tell him that I go to the gym, I put my sportswear on, and leave for 2 hours. In fact, I walk, sit at a cafe, and enjoy loneliness. He is ready to sit with our child for 2 hours only, hoping that I will have a fit-looking butt. After the “gym” I come home in a great mood. And then I do squats all day.
I’m so shy that if I don’t have a watch on me, I will buy bubble gum in a store to see the time on the receipt.
The biggest problem in an introvert’s life is when you don’t text people in order to not look too pushy. And then you don’t text them because it has been so much time that you feel kind of awkward.
Everyone that I know (usually they are couples with a family) are surprised that I don’t control my husband at all. I don’t ask him where he is going to go, I don’t call him all the time, I let him go to parties easily. If he says that he is not going to spend the night at home and he wants to be with his friends at a bar, I just say, “Sure, honey! Have fun!” His friends are jealous — they think I’m smart, calm, attractive, I don’t go out much, and make a lot of money. Nobody knows that I love being alone more than anything in the world and that even the people I love irritate me.
I hate it when you promise to meet someone soon and then they really want to meet you.
15 years ago, my father set up 2 rings on the entrance door. One of them had 2 soundtracks and it was placed in the regular spot for an ordinary ring. When someone pressed the button, the first track played (it was some ordinary sound) and then the second track played — a 10-minute track of a dog barking with its claws scratching at the wooden door. And if the ring was used again, the barking would start from the beginning but would continue at different pitches. It sounded very natural. The second ring was a small button hidden above the door that was impossible to find from the first attempt, even if you knew where it was. It was a ring for friends and relatives. I’ve been living separately from my parents for many years, but given the fact of how many strangers ring the doorbell trying to sell us something, my husband and I want to have the same system.
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