DEAR DEIDRE: I’M so tired of cleaning the house all the time when my brother does nothing to help. Why is it always the women who do all the work?
I’m a single woman aged 32 and live with my brother who is 36 and divorced.
I do all the housework, I vacuum and clean up the bathroom and kitchen and hall. I work full-time so I spend every weekend just cleaning the house.
I haven’t done cleaning today as I’m not feeling well but I know the house is a mess.
If a friend were to call round today I would feel too embarrassed to let her come in.
If my brother is away the house will stay clean as I don’t make a mess.
Our family is Latin American but it’s not only in our culture that women are ashamed of the house being messy when it’s only the men who have made it that way.
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DEIDRE SAYS: That’s conditioning from the past but it’s up to us to make up our minds that customs and cultures can change.
Write a list of everything that needs to be done in the house and ask your brother to sign up for his 50 per cent.
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If he’s difficult about it, be firm that you’re not his skivvy. Put down that vacuum cleaner and have more fun at weekends.
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