The socially distanced broadcast of the Golden Globes ceremony found most stars beaming in on Zoom to accept their gongs. I know what you are thinking.
You are thinking that what the world doesn’t need right now is another Zoom conference call, even if it features Hollywood celebrities in sequins rather than members of the Handforth Parish Council in stained cardigans.
Take away the cleavage and the stardust and glorious Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton, looking like something that should be carved on the prow of a ship, and we were still stuck in a global Zoom, with all the technical glitches, bad lighting and awkward pauses it brings to the party.
‘Can you hear me?’ asked Daniel Kaluuya, the London-born actor who won a gong for his supporting role in the film Judas And The Black Messiah.
Nominee Elle Fanning (left) had the Golden Globes gloss in a bespoke ice-blue silk Gucci gown, costing around £8,000 while Anya Taylor-Joy (right), Best Actress for The Queen’s Gambit, donned emerald Dior and Tiffany gems
Crown star Olivia Colman (left) donned her ‘armour’ of a silver Armani Privé jacket while Rosamund Pike (right) must have been grateful not to have to move from the sofa in her impractical Molly Goddard layered tulle dress
The Crown’s British winner Emma Corrin, in a Miu Miu design with giant ruffles and puff shoulders, which was inspired by Pierrot the clown
The sound kept failing during his acceptance speech, the first of many cringe moments on a night of big wins for British stars.
The Crown won four prizes, including best TV drama, a triumph for the royal Netflix series written by Peter Morgan.
Josh O’Connor won for his cuff-twiddling turn as Prince Charles, while newcomer Emma Corrin triumphed for her luminous portrayal of Princess Diana.
Rather more remarkably, Gillian Anderson also won a supporting role award for her Crown depiction of Margaret Thatcher.
This was despite giving the former prime minister a 45-degree stoop and a panoply of facial tics that would shame a sneezing woodpecker.
‘Thank you to Peter Morgan, for imagining that I could inhabit Mrs T,’ she said of her on-off boyfriend Morgan, who grinned onscreen and seemed to be sequestered in a nearby dog house.
Other notable British winners included Sacha Baron Cohen, who picked up two awards for Amazon’s Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, despite many critics deciding it was not nearly as funny as it should have been.
The wonderful John Boyega won for his supporting role in the BBC mini-series Small Axe and was rather overwhelmed. ‘I’m so shocked,’ he said on Zoom, revealing he was at home wearing tracky bottoms under his tuxedo and dress shirt.
Meanwhile, Anya Taylor-Joy won best actress in a limited TV series for The Queen’s Gambit — and had hired an ‘image architect’ to perfect her look for the night.
Award night presenter Margot Robbie wore a £9,000 Chanel silk maxi with a tiered ruffled skirt and thigh-high split
The Undoing star Nicole Kidman (left), looked immaculate on her grey minimalist sofa in a fitted black halter-neck gown by Louis Vuitton while Star of Emily In Paris Lily Collins (right) chose French fashion house Saint Laurent for her colourful 1980s-inspired embroidered robe
Hollywood legend Jane Fonda accepts her award in a cream tuxedo by Australian designer Richard Tyler
Nicole Kidman with her husband Keith Urban and their daughter Faith Margaret
‘Thank you to the audiences,’ she said, clutching her hands over her heart like a penitent, showing off a chess-inspired manicure and a stunning green Dior gown.
She looked amazing, as did Lily Collins in Saint Laurent and Elle Fanning in a bias-cut ripple of ice-blue Gucci silk.
For those of us pandemic-starved of Hollywood glitz, it was heaven: like watching a crop of perfect snowdrops thrusting through the blasted earth at last.
For almost a year, the richly groomed glories of Hollywood’s leading ladies have been little more than fond memories of things past; ghostly footsteps gliding down the red carpet of our collective memory; stardust scattered among the tumbleweed of a shattered industry.
Now, here they are risen again, visions of loveliness to gladden the weary eye. They seem like the Covid cavalry, galloping over the hill to rescue us from the unremitting drab at last.
Even Rosamund Pike, who won in the best actress category for her film I Care A Lot, made a splash in a crazy, teapot-shaped dress of red tulle, with comfy bovver boots underneath.
Eighty-three-year-old Jane Fonda was one of the few stars to turn up in person, sporting a great haircut and a lot of attitude. ‘Let’s be leaders,’ she said, accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award while urging more diversity within the film industry.
Back in Blighty, Olivia Colman looked elegant in a silver blazer, but for once did not take home an award, which meant we were spared one of her aw-shucks, little-old-me speeches.
All in all, it was win-win all round.
Unguarded moments that made it all the sweeter
Jodie Foster (left) celebrates winning for The Mauritanian with wife Alexandra Hedison in Prada PJs and Emma Corrin (right) the morning after
Kate Hudson, wearing a low-cut Louis Vuitton gown, kept it in the family with daughter Rani, partner Chris and mum Goldie Hawn
Amanda Seyfried — nominated for her role in movie Mank — tucks into Girl Scout cookies as hairstylist Renato Campora gets her ‘red-carpet’ ready
Picture research: Claire Cisotti