Here’s something you never thought you’d see: one of the Duggars is advocating for lots of sex if you want a happy marriage. Jill Duggar-Dillard, who has been married to her husband Derrick for five years, wrote on the family website about “how to love your husband,” and she notes that intimacy is a key factor.
“Have sex often!” the mother of two wrote. “You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol). And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate.”
Duggar also advised against self-pleasure, saying that you should “always be available” for your spouse.
“Let your spouse know that you’re aways available,” Duggar wrote. “Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone. Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5) If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!”
For reference, these are the Bible verses Duggar was talking about.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4
“Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7:5
Michelle Duggar also spoke about being “available” for your husband, so it’s clear where her daughter learned it from.
“In your marriage there will be times you’re going to be very exhausted,” the matriarch said in 2014. “Your hubby comes home after a hard day’s work, you get the baby to bed, and he is going to be looking forward to that time with you. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.”
Duggar also suggested making weekly date nights a priority.
“Even if you can’t go out, you can put the kids to bed early, have a candlelit dinner and watch a marriage video on YouTube and then discuss it together or read a marriage book together or take fun personality quizzes online!” she said. “Anything to learn more about each other and strengthen your marriage!”
Some other tips from Duggar include:
- Be open about everything
- Pray for your husband
- Encourage your husband
- Get at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to talk every day
- Look nice for him
- Be open abut spending habits
- Don’t name call, even jokingly
- Make family time a priority
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Don’t let habits become problems
- Give at least a 6-second kiss when coming and going
It’s interesting to hear a Duggar be so open about their sex life. For a family who is so reserved and conservative, it’s unusual for them to speak on something so intimate.