To be fair, this is a mix of stories. Sometimes these lawyers were representing a dumbass client, sometimes they witnessed a dumbass client they were up against. In any case, if there’s one thing to learn from all of these, it’s to never lie to your lawyer (either by omission or on purpose).
That he filmed his offences for his youtube channel. The cops didn’t even know, a witness brought it up on day three of a trial. It was a nice quick change of plea that afternoon.
Not my client, but the son of the opposing party (and presumably the party himself) lied about being blind to make himself seem more sympathetic as a witness. We didn’t know either until he took the witness box, their counsel asked him to take the oath, and he picked the card up and read it.
That was the cherry on top of a series of ridiculous events. The judge dismissed the whole thing in our client’s favor shortly after. I was a trainee at the time, but my boss, who was in her late sixties then, said it was the most ridiculous case she’d ever handled.
Case as a paralegal.
Negligence case, client argued that a lack of street lights and a cyclist he couldn’t see was responsible for him hitting a wire pole.
Upon discovery, the first respondent’s report indicated that they found the driver in the driver’s seat, pants down, with porn playing on the phone.
Wasn’t difficult to figure out who was negligent at that point.
I’m still a law student and this happened during my first internship at a court: A girl among other people was charged with drug possession but because she had thrown away the drugs and the police couldn’t prove that she bought or owned the drugs (bc it could have been one of the other people as well who still had drugs on them).
The judge ruled in dubio pro reo ( =reasonable doubt I think), he then asked if she wants to say/ add something and this girl asked if she can get HER drugs back. The defense attorney looked like he was about to get a heart attack.
When I was an intern at court I was watching a battery trial with another intern. The defendant was asked if he can remember how many people were present when he beat up the other guy. He then points at my fellow intern and says rather loudly: “She was there but she didn’t see anything! Don’t trust her!”.
Of course she wasn’t there and the defendant was found guilty.
I did some personal injury stuff before I went into teaching, this wasn’t my client, but rather the person trying to sue them for 7 figures.
I imagine his lawyers wouldn’t have been too pleased with the fact he failed to mention the two reality TV shows he’d been on since the accident. He was trying to claim 7 figures for a brain injury that supposedly ruined his life, yet half the country had watched him be perfectly fine on TV, and a quick google brought all that up to us.
Trial was supposed to last three days, we were done by that afternoon.
A Defendant was written a cell phone ticket while driving and defended himself. “Your honor I was not using a smart phone while driving. I was actually using a flip phone.”
This one ended my marriage (well, it was the start of the end of marriage)
My husband lost his job in the title/mortgage business. Applied for unemployment, got denied. I decide to help him with his appeal hearing. I asked him multiple times before the hearing “ Is there anything you did that caused them fire you?” He says no absolutely not they fired him out of nowhere.
Hearing day comes. He testifies under oath that he did nothing wrong, was a good employee, no issues. Upon cross examination, the other attorney pulls out documents from one of his real estate closings – documents he forged and back dated. Had to admit he perjured himself.
Needless to say he didn’t get unemployment and he didn’t sleep at home that night.
I’m a public defender in an area with lots of meth use. Meth makes most people talk. A lot. So I can’t tell you how many clients forget to mention that they got to the jail still high and called their mom/girlfriend/buddy on the recorded jail phone and not only confessed to the crime, but also brainstormed whatever alibi or version of events I’m relying on to defend them.
I am actually a lawyer, but I was only watching this trial, not participating.
So the case was, that Woman A had hit Woman B in the head with a heavy beer pint at a bar, and Woman B got pretty serious injuries. The defense claimed that Woman A had not hit anyone with the pint, but instead had just thrown the pint into a random direction, and it happened to hit B in the head, thus it was an accident and not a battery. Well, the prosecution had a CCTV tape from the bar, and it was shown at the trial..
And the tape CLEARLY showed in HD as A walked behind B, and smashed the pint to her head so hard that the pint shattered on impact..
I looked at the defense lawyer and his jaw literally almost hit the table. The prosecutor also noticed this and asked something along: “Thrown, eh?” And the defense lawyer said that due to technical difficulties he couldn’t get the CCTV tape open on his computer when he was reviewing the evidence. Woman A was found guilty.
So yeah, I was completely dumbfounded.
My father is a Judge. I remember him talking about a case where a woman was suing for a severe back injury that she said was preventing her from working and taking care of her kids and so on. In the middle of the trial a pen rolled off the table and she is bending over trying to reach it from her chair, but pen was too far away, so she stands up and bends over and picks it up and goes back to her seat as if nothing is out of the ordinary.
My dad is just looking at her and she snaps at my dad and goes what are you staring at? My dad asked her if she was okay and her response was that she was fine. Her attorney leaned over an said something to her and She then loudly started complaining about her back and how much her back hurt but no one believed her lol
I clerked for a DAs office throughout law school. Obviously we don’t have “clients,” but I’ll never forget this kidnapping case I worked on. It involved two asian male defendants who were both the same age and looked relatively similar. Witness is on the stand and is asked to identify where the defendant who pushed an uzi into his face is seated.
It’s clear the witnesses is having trouble differentiating the defendants. In a true moment of brilliance, one defendant RAISES HIS FUCKING HAND and basically points to himself like “right here bud.” Hands down the dumbest shit I’d ever seen. I thought his defense attorney was going to have a brain aneurysm.
A friend of mine is a lawyer and he said that a client once turned up to court in the actual same outfit he was wearing in the burglary. When the CCTV footage come up in Evidence, the client looked down to himself and was like “oooooh shit”
I was involved in a hit and run car accident. My leg was pretty mangled. However the driver of the car was caught. Turns out he was a rich kid who was driving his mums convertible porche. Denied all knowledge of hitting me etc. At the trial the prosecutor asked him how long he had been driving to which he answered ‘ do you mean how long have i been driving legally or illegally’
The judge then went nuts asking why and when he had been driving illegally. His defence team sat diwn in their chairs and shook their heads. Needless to say he lost the case. Interestingly he died a year later by drowning. He had hired speed boat and holiday, flipped it over and drowned. Turns out he was drunk at the time. Karma can be a cunt.
Employment law matter. He claimed to have been unfairly dismissed over bogus performance management. The real reason: he organised via Craigslist to have someone collect a box of his cum from a children’s playground. There were explicit messages from him asking what they did with it, and whether they rubbed it all over themselves. The employer provided us the messages.
He was doing this on company time.
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