I don’t feel too much sympathy for scam artists myself, but I almost felt bad for this one. You see, our narrator didn’t even get ripped off, they spotted this man’s con from a mile away. However, if your con gets blown up, don’t act like an asshole because you might run into someone like our narrator who… Who honestly might have gone just a bit too far:
Back in September I went to look at a pair of moose antlers on Facebook marketplace that my dad was interested in. He lives in a small cabin on my property and thought the antlers would look cool over his front door.
We get there, and the dude is clearly high on coke. Jittery, keeps wiping his nose, etc. We met him at a storage rental place, so he had to let us in with his code, and we were stuck in the facility until he let us back out.
We get to his rental unit and he gets the antlers out. They were very clearly fake. He’d said he’d spray painted them brown to make them look like they were still in velvet. It was obvious he’d sprayed them to try to make them look real. The weight was off, the color was off, there were several large cracks in them and you could see they were white inside, not bone colored.
There were also several points broken off an the material inside was white and powdery, again, not bone. He kept insisting they could be fixed with some epoxy. Finally, tapping your fingers on them made a drum noise, so they were hollow inside.
At this point, I hadn’t said a word at all. I was just along for the ride with my dad. Dad politely tells the guy that we’re going to pass, he thinks they are fake, thanks but no thanks.
This guy goes off the deep end, screaming at us, calling us all sorts of names, insulting us, our mothers, etc. Then he starts screaming at us that we were locked in there with him and weren’t leaving until he was ready to go.
Dad and I get in the truck, and luckily another customer was coming in to their unit and we were able to get out of the locked gate when they came in. We both thought it was hilarious, how off the wall this guy acted and how fake the antlers looked in person.
I stew on this for a few weeks and finally come up with a revenge plan. I didn’t say a single word to the guy and he insulted my entire family tree, wife, intelligence, etc.
I create a new facebook account with the dumbest old person name I could come up with. Then, I use a bunch of “Hide the pain Harold” photos to populate it with. Then start adding as many friends as I can, posting dumb crap about old black and white movies, my prostate, etc. Spent a few days craploading this account as much as I could.
Then, once the account was 2 weeks old and I could get on facebook groups, I go to a few of the groups I knew this guy was on and find some of his items he had for sale. Luckily, he had 2 large bookcases for sale. Great, something big and awkward to move around.
Next, I do some research and find the most pain in the butt location in my city to get to. I pick a place that has no highway onramps so it takes at least half an hour to get to it off the highway.
I message him, and I ask if he would deliver since I only have a sedan. AND HE SAYS YES! For $50 to cover his gas and a helper because they would take 2 people to move around. We setup a date and time, and I tell him I’m going to meet him at a nearby grocery store, since my house is hard to find.
Finally, the time arrives. He messages me that he is at the grocery store. Now I come up with every annoying old person slow thing I can think of. “I’m putting my shoes on”. “My wife is in the shower and I can’t leave in case she slips” then “oh, we’ve not gone anywhere in so long because of this china virus, my car battery is dead”
Mr. Scammer finally asks for my address and says he will find the place. I get on google maps and find the most pain in the butt street to get to, knowing he’s driving a full size van and towing a trailer with the bookshelves. So I find a street in the very center of a old badly laid out neighborhood, got on street view, and look for where the house number stop, and pick a number a few above that one. I test it in google maps, and google maps isn’t smart enough to know that house number doesn’t exist! It just points you at the end of the dead end street!
So I relay this address. Of course I make sure to mess it up a few times and get him lost in the process. After about 90 minutes he messages that he can’t find that house number but he’s on my street, can I please come outside?
I reply back with “No Thanks.”
Him “No thanks, what?”
Me “I walked out there and saw them, not interested in buying.”
My facebook account blows up for the next hour with him trying to call me, video chat, sending all kinds of horrible messages about how I’m a liar and a cheater.
I never respond back. I check it occasionally and about every 2 weeks he sends me a nasty message still. Dude had no idea who it was that messed with him, or why it happened. I’m kind of debating about doing it again.
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