“I love being married.
Pros: my best friend is always around and has my back. I never worry that my wife will break up with me, and we work everything out. No problem we have ever really lasted.
Cons: When I buy sweets, I have to share. I sometimes have things put on my calendar that I don’t want to do.”
“Con: Had to stop picking up and dating strange women.
Pro: Get to spend the rest of my life with the coolest chick I’ve ever met.”
“Pro: You never have to sleep alone.
Con: You never get to sleep alone.
Pro: You never have to wonder who you’ll be having sex with.
Con: You’ll always know who you’ll be having sex with.
Pro: You’ll grow to love many of the things that may have annoyed you in the beginning.
Con: You’ll grow to dislike many of the things you may have loved in the beginning.
Pro: If you’re committed to the relationship as much as you’re committed to the person you fell in love with, you’ll never lack comfort, security, and love.
Con: If you’re committed to the person you fell in love with, but not the relationship or the person they grow to be, you’ve found hell.”
“Pros: I get to hang out with my best friend all day. We do everything together which is great! I’m never lonely, except when she goes on a business trip for a week. I get help with chores, we split them pretty evenly. Two income earners in one house/apartment is awesome for saving money or spending it elsewhere. I don’t ever have to worry about saying something wrong that might scare her away, like in dating.
Cons: Hard to get alone time when you want to veg out and just play videogames.”
“Pro: The bathroom is always clean
Con: There’s never any freaking toilet paper.”
“A good marriage is way better than no marriage. A bad marriage is way worse than no marriage.”
“Pros: Always got consistent sex
Cons: She had more of it than I did.”
“Pro: Life long partner that knows you better than anyone else.
Con: Making it work requires lots of effort and selflessness, which can be hard.
Pro: Hell of a lot of inside jokes.”
“Pros: You learn a lot about women that is true.
Cons: You learn a lot about women that is disheartening.
I am committed to my wife and marriage, but I would not and will not do it again knowing what I now know.”
“We’ve been married almost 38 years now. We married at 21, still in college.
And for me, it has been the rock on which my life has been anchored. I cannot imagine life without her. I have never questioned if I’d be better off without her.
I’m not recommending it for everyone. We’ve had incredible luck in finding each other, the immediate and palpable chemistry that we have had from the first moment, and the alignment of what we’ve wanted out of life.
It’s not all easy. We’re moving through a very difficult time, probably the most difficult we’ve ever faced, but what keeps me getting out of bed every day is knowing that I’m together with her.
You want a con? If you find someone you love the much and need to be with, you’re going to need to change your life. Period. For some, that’s not possible or desirable. For me, it was just something that had to be done to be with her.”
“A very wise man once told me, “Marriage is the best or worst decision you’ll ever make in your life. That person will be the first one you’ll see when you open your eyes and the last one you’ll see when you close your eyes.” He also said, “Marriage is a partnership. It’s a daily business deal between two people. Don’t be fooled. It’s conditional love. Both of you must meet the needs of each other.”
The main con of a great marriage is that you’ll never “fall in love” again. Remember that time when a relationship is blossoming or new? Butterflies in the stomach and thoughts consumed by that person? Yeah… no more raging bonfires. The main pro of a great marriage is that you’ll always be loved. The conflagration is replaced by an ever-present, smoldering flame that will wrap you in warmth all the days of your life.
And lastly, let me impart one more nugget from the old man, “Children will amplify what is there. They’ll turn a great marriage into an amazing family. They’ll turn a bad one into divorce.””
Pros: There is always someone you can talk to who understands you. You have someone who is actively working hard to improve your future (as it is their future too). It makes some things easier socially… People expect you to be married, so when you are, it’s easier sometimes (like being right-handed or straight, not that it is right, but assumptions work). When you spend enough time getting to know someone, it is easy to work with them.
Cons: I guess you can’t date other people in most marriages (not that I really want to anymore). They are not going to change much, so if you didn’t get to know them enough they may surprise you with stuff? If the relationship goes sour at some point, there could be more things that are difficult to reverse (split property, a woman changing her name, children(which you can have outside of marriage.)
“Pro: Doing life with my best friend that I chose as my wife and she was game to be the mother of our children.
Con: I can’t half-ass life like I used to and she’ll let me know when I drop the ball.”
“Pro: if you find the right woman, you have someone you love and who loves you to spend the rest of your life
Con: if you marry the wrong woman, she has the ability to make your life a living hell, take your kids away from you and alienate them against you, drag you through years of bitter divorce proceedings, alimony and/or child support to the point where you can only afford to live out of your car…all of which may lead you to want to commit suicide even if you are not mentally ill in any way.”
“Only marry a woman if you are constantly competing with each other to see who does more for the other person. The moment one of you thinks more about yourself the relationship is over.”
“Divorced man here, so you know I have a bias. The only pros I can see for a man to get married are: If you don’t get married, most women will eventually be very resentful or leave you because they buy into the dominant discourse on relationships.
People around you will take your relationship more seriously. This is especially helpful if you plan to have children.
Other than that, I found no other pros. A marriage license and ring will not stop a person from cheating. It won’t make them suddenly have the same financial values you have, etc.
The biggest con to getting married is if you ever grow apart or discover you are not really compatible. It is hard to predict the future. If you ever get divorced you will find that the very easily obtained marriage license can be extremely hard to get out of. In many states, they still have alimony or use child support as a proxy for alimony.
Even if you mostly agree in a divorce those last few points can still cost thousands. Imagine your worst breakup, but now the state is involved and lawyers. People get really crazy and petty.”
“Only 1 con exists for me: I always lose between 3-7 fries.”
“No. If you are in a committed relationship then that is all you need. What sense does it make to say “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, BUT to ensure that let’s sign a contract that enforces it.” The only thing that actually changes is that now you no longer are kept together and bound by love, you’re now contractually blind. How romantic.”
“I’ve been married 15 years, my wife is an incredible woman, we have sex all the time and get along almost perfectly, but if I could go back in time I’d not be married. There’s no good reason to do it. Too much risk. Very little of our relationship would change if we were not married, and if things ever went south, I’d have a much easier time getting out if a marriage license weren’t in the way.”
“100% depends on who you marry and the most important thing is: Do not marry while you’re in love. You’re drugged and your mind cannot be trusted.”
“In my eyes, there’s one important thing. Love is a decision, it doesn’t just happen.
If you both decide to put effort into this… Well, after 3 years of marriage and 13 years of being together I think it’s not only worth the effort. It’s pure fulfillment. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
Being married actually made a difference, even after all these years… we felt like we belonged to each other. Even more so now.”
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