Your well meaning coworker sets you up on a blind date with her fun friend.
You agree to meet at a bar, but then her friend asks you to pick her up because she lost her license
You get to her apartment and she is arguing with a man out front. She flips him the bird before spitting in his face then gets into your car. It is at this crucial point you notice she brought a suitcase full of her things.
After you finish the drink you ordered with your meal she finishes her fifth one. The entire time you haven’t said more than a few words. Not because your being indifferent, but because she always interrupts with anecdotes about her abusive childhood.
The bill comes, she slides it over to you. She informs you that she doesn’t have any money and assumed you had intended to pay for the entire date.
On the way to the car she informs you that she wants to have unprotected sex. Don’t worry though. She tells you that you cannot impregnate her. She is already carrying another mans child.
While taking her home she begins gesturing to her suitcase while asking to live with you a few weeks. She is broke and destitute till she begins her new job as a stripper on Monday. The man she was arguing with was letting her stay with him till she saved up enough money for her own place.
Unfortunately that man had kicked her out since she was bringing other men over to his apartment to fuck. In her opinion it was unfair. After all, she never agreed to only be sleeping with him exclusively.
After pulling her hand out of your crotch and telling her your not interested, you get to the apartment you picked her up from.
Unfortunately you live in the same apartment complex. Only a couple buildings around the corner. Far enough from where you park but not so far that she doesn’t follow you all the way to your front door.
She sexually assaults you while trying to force her way into the apartment. You panic, but then hear your cellphone ring.
It’s a telemarketer telling you about your vehicles expiring extended warranty. You pretend it’s work, push your way outside, lock the door and hope she forgets the number scrolling across it.
She follows you to your car, asking when you will come back home. You leave her standing in the rear view mirror while you speed off into the night.
You then spend a few hours sitting in the mall parking-lot; waiting for a chance to sneak back home. While on your third cigarette to deal with the second anxiety attack; even though you previously quit smoking for over one year, you come to a grand realization.
Your coworker is kind of a bitch. -@anonymous