TEN years ago Conrad Murray walked into Michael Jackson’s messy and secluded bedroom to his worst nightmare – his patient and friend had stopped breathing while under his care.
The cardiologist went into autopilot frantically trying to resuscitate the King of Pop to no avail.
Not only did Jackson die – but Murray, 66, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for administering a fatal dose of anesthetic propofol, spent two years in jail and became vilified by Jacko’s family, friends, fans and the medical community.
At his sentencing Superior Court Judge Michael Pastor called Murray “a disgrace to the medical profession” and said he showed a “continual pattern of deceit.”
Now on Jackson’s 10th anniversary Murray still insists he did not kill the star – but that Jackson, who was hiding a chronic opioid addiction from him, secretly administered the fatal dose of propofol to himself as he struggled with severe drug withdrawal.
In a world exclusive interview with Sun Online, Murray also revealed the “pain and suffering” of Jackson’s final 24 hours, and the heartbreaking task he had of telling the star’s young children Paris, Blanket and Prince that their “daddy was dead” as they innocently ate pizza at the hospital.
And he told how in his last days, tormented Jackson would share his darkest secrets about how he had been raped and sexually abused by other doctors.
Murray, who now lives in Florida, said: “When you are so close to this as I am, you cannot even believe that 10 years has passed. And I do mourn my friend who I love dearly. I have been through a lot but despite that I still remember the sweetness of our wonderful friendship.
“However I also wish I had never met Michael Jackson for what has happened to me.
“I wish that night, that ungodly hour I when I was called after midnight, sleeping in the bed next to my partner Nicole and my three-month-old son, when they made this request for me to come to the home and to take care of Michael I should have flatly said, ‘No’.
“But no, I agreed to go, reluctantly so and look what happened.”
Murray said the night before his death, Jackson returned to his home in Holmby Hills, Los Angeles, following a rehearsal for his upcoming tour after midnight – and was agitated and acting like a “hamster” on a wheel.
Murray gave him several sedative drugs throughout the night, which had no effect and Jackson repeatedly begged the doctor to give him propofol – what he called his “milk” – to help him sleep.
Despite being found guilty, the former cardiologist rejects the prosecution’s version of events – that he administered an intravenous propofol drip and then left Jackson alone, saying he gave Jackson a small amount of propofol and monitored him closely until the drug would have left his system.
Instead he says that Michael, secretly suffering intense withdrawals from opioids, injected himself while he left the room and accidentally overdosed on the powerful anesthetic.
This version of events was not accepted by the courts, but Murray insists: “That is what I believe. He came back from rehearsal and was like a hamster in constant motion, restless, going from room to room that night and could barely sleep until the next day.
“It wasn’t until then, he received from me, as I told the policeman, a 25 milligram dose of the propofol, which all of the experts in the trial stated did that they did not think would lead to any kind of sedation.
“Michael went to sleep and I monitored him from about 10:50am until around 11:30am – three times as long as the effects of propofol will last on anybody, because propofol is its own antidote. It goes away on its own in no time – within five to seven minutes.
“I left him and he was asleep, I thought, ‘Great he’s fine’. I went about all my activities, calling my administrator, calling my office, talking to the Royal College of London to get my registration completed because I was going to be the doctor for him in England.
“Then finally I used the men’s room to urinate and on my way back I was talking to this young lady, a waitress.
“There was nothing unusual – it was a beautiful day in southern California. And then bam – all of a sudden I stumbled upon a lifeless man. I could not believe it, it was too shocking.”
Murray came under intense criticism for not calling 911 when he discovered Jacko had stopped breathing for over an hour.
But the Grenadian-born former doctor was unrepentant and had a slew of excuses for not calling for help sooner.
And incredibly, he claimed he did not even know the address of the property to give to 911 dispatchers.
He said: “I am a cardiologist. My job is trying to resuscitate people. If I come upon a victim or somebody who is unconscious, I would definitely want to resuscitate them.
“I’m not a layman – I went into the mode of trying to help my friend survive, but I also was in a very cavernous three-storey house where very few people were allowed in the home – not even kids were allowed in his bedroom.
“As a result of that, no one could hear me. So I did everything I could and then when I couldn’t get any help, there were no land lines in the house.
“I hadn’t memorized the address and I readily confess this today, I did not know that if I had used my cell phone it would give people a direction of where we were.
“So as a result of that, I first tried to resuscitate my friend and when I could not, I left him alone, ran downstairs to get help to come back.
“But this is what I dispute up to this day: they stated that Michael Jackson died because of apnea. It means he stopped breathing.
“And he stopped breathing because he had to have a propofol level grade level high enough to stop him from breathing – and up to this day the coroner’s office has failed to produce the brain propofol level in Michael Jackson. The question is why?
“The reason my propofol is not in Michael Jackson’s brain is because Michael Jackson was not on an intravenous drip – it was an absolute fabrication.”
Murray says that although Jackson would reveal many secrets to him – he did not tell him the one thing that could have helped save him, that he was a drug addict.
And he pointed the finger at another doctor – Jackson’s dermatologist Arnold Klein, who died in 2015, who he believes is the one to blame for the star’s death.
“He never shared with me that he was a substance abuser, a drug addict,” Murray revealed.
“He never shared with me that on a daily basis he would visit the office of Dr. Arnold Klein in Beverly Hills, where he was being shot up.
“I learned during the trial that in the last 60 days of his life, he was injected 51 times with the gargantuan amounts of Demerol, which I am sure today is the substance that led to his death.
“But Michael Jackson was not open and though he shared so much with me, he hid that from me because up till today, Conrad Murray does not use alcohol, does not use drugs, does not smoke. I do not at all indulge in any of those behaviours. I had one weakness – the sight of a beautiful woman who ogled me – and I have learned how to curtail that.
“I think I’m very thorough in getting information from patients so I can’t understand why Michael would not have shared this information about his drug abuse with me except I think I put the fear of God in Michael because he knew exactly how I felt about drug addicts and drug addiction.
“I am sorry to say I should do better. I try to do better and I try to accept this, but I do not understand why people will put themselves in that state of misery and become so helpless that they die.
“I would never have accepted Michael Jackson’s job if I had known Jackson was a drug addict.
“I would never have tried to treat him. I would never have given propofol.
“He lied and was deceptive where that is concerned and it didn’t just cost me, it cost him.
“Look at what happened. He was absolutely in withdrawal when he died. That’s why he was so restless that night. That’s the reason why he couldn’t sleep.
“The last time he was given the opiates before he died was 48 hours and the peak time for opioid withdrawals is 48 to 72 hours. And that’s the reason why they couldn’t find the metabolite or the substance in his bloodstream because he was longing for it. He needed it.”
He added: “Dr. Klein is to blame for Michael Jackson’s death.”
Murray said that one of the hardest things was having to break the news to Jackson’s children that he had not been able to save him.
He said he always tried to protect the three children – and became angry when bodyguard Alberto Alvarez allowed Paris and Prince to walk into the bedroom when their father had stopped breathing.
“I did not want the children to see their father in this state,” he recalled.
“I protected the children like I would want to protect Michael.
“And when the kids ran in Alberto Alverez ushered them out as I asked.
“It was a very sad day because Michael before he died told me ‘I have four family members Dr Conrad, Paris, Prince and Blanket and that’s all the family I want until the day I die’.
“It was very sad to explain to the children and explain them their daddy had passed.
“When the news was broken to them they really did weep and cry, they were having some pizza.
“After they recomposed themselves we took them towards the grandmother but she did not embrace them or show them any love.
“Myself and Michael’s manager Frank [DiLeo], we were the ones who embraced the children.
“I also asked if Mrs Jackson wanted to see Michael but she did not want to view his body.
“I remained in the hospital until six in the evening doing everything possible to help.
“And one thing that stands out in my mind was Paris said to me: ‘My daddy passed today but I wanted you to know that he always stated you were the best doctor that he ever had – and if my daddy passed and you were around and he could not be saved then it was meant to be.’ I couldn’t believe it. That these words came out of that beautiful blue-eyed girl’s mouth.
“I believe it was Michael’s last confession to me, that she was just a vehicle to use by Michael because the words were just too mature for a child her age and this was Michael speaking through her. That’s the way I see it.”
Murray said that before Jackson died, he told him how he had been sexually abused – including how he had been raped by doctors.
“During his confessionals Michael Jackson spoke about being raped by a number of doctors – he said: ‘Dr Conrad I hope this would never happen between you and me,” Murray recalls.
“And I said ‘Michael, I have no doubt. I have been 100% heterosexual all my life. I have no interest in the same sex. That would never happen.’
“When Michael described what was happening to him and got into the posture of a child and, gripping his guts in the fetal position, shaking and trembling with tears in his eyes. It was a lot for me to witness. It was a lot for me to have to console him on.”
Murray said much of Jackson’s pain also came from his fractious relationship with his family.
And he says Jackson “does not rest in peace” because he didn’t get his wish to be cremated and have his ashes scattered in the warm oceans surrounding the Bimini islands in the Bahamas.
“During the three years that I spent with Michael and the round him, there was constant confessionals of his own pain and suffering,” he said.
“Pain with having to put up with not be loved, being used as an ATM machine or a credit card by multiple members of his inner circle.
“Once Michael spoke to me about wanting to have brain surgery – a brain transplant – to see if the transplantation of his brain would make him forget some of the pain he had suffered in his life.
“I was a good listener to Michael during these confessionals and I understood his dreams.
“I also understood where he wanted to be buried – he would talk about what he wanted when he died.
“He wanted to be created and have his ashes sprinkled in the warm seas and coral reef around the Bimini Islands.
“My friend Michael pledged not to sing one more song in the state of California – because of the pain that the child abuse allegations in the state had caused him.
“So it pains me that Michael rests in Forest Lawn cemetery in Los Angeles.
“That is not the resting peace for Michael – he does not rest in peace.
“And since Michael passed away, I have travelled to Bimini and I’ve taken pictures just to remember him.”
Murray says he currently practices medicine in the Caribbean and he plans to reinstate his medical license in the US.
He says he’s also in the process of building a medical centre there for patients with cardiovascular disease and other ailments.
And he says he still looks back at Jackson “lovingly”.
“Bad things has happened to me,” he said.” I have lost it all as far as whatever I built up. My kids were put on the street, my homes were foreclosed.”
“I lost four practices and I’ve had to knock so many doors to restart my life and find some kinds of reasonable occupation.
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“But despite losing all of that, I still remember the sweet fragrance of my friend.”
“He said to me once – and it was rather chilling: ‘I am clairvoyant and I just want you to know that your life and my life will become inseparable for the rest of time’. And he was right.
“I suffered a lot for Michael Jackson but I still consider him a friend. But he lied to me and had he not lied to me maybe we both might be alive today.”