My long-distance lover won’t move to be with me – I worry our love will fade

DEAR DEIDRE: MY long-distance lover will not move to be with me.

We have been together for three years but only see each other on weekends and during holidays.

My lover won’t move to be with me despite agreeing that we’re both getting fed up with this arrangement

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We were a holiday romance that lasted.

Our homes are 60 miles apart. I’m a woman of 48 and he’s 50.

We’re both getting fed up with this arrangement and have agreed we need to spend more time together.

So I asked him to move to my town.

But he says he can’t because of his job and would rather I moved to him.

While I can work from home, I have a daughter of 15 who’s in the middle of GCSEs.

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I’m also nervous things might not work out and I’ll have given up my life for him.

What shall we do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Nobody can guarantee that any relationship will work. But something needs to change or your long-distance love will fizzle out.

Perhaps there is room for compromise, so he moves closer but can still get to work.

Your daughter needs stability so prioritise her and involve her in the decision. Keep talking.

My support pack Looking After Your Relationship has useful tips.

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