My wife agreed to a threesome with a mate but she enjoyed it a bit too much

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I had a threesome with one of my work colleagues – but I fear they took it further than I am comfortable with.

I am 35 and my wife is 34. We have been together for nine years and have a good relationship in general.

Getty – Contributor

The whole thing was sexy to start with, but then it occurred to me that they were going too far[/caption]

We were at a friend’s Christmas drinks do last week and a work mate, who is 31, was there.

He was flirting with my wife and they spent a lot of time together.

As we were leaving, he grabbed her breast and she did not seem to mind.

My wife and I talked about him as we walked home and I was feeling quite aroused.

Getty – Contributor

My colleague was flirting with my wife all night and she seemed fine with it[/caption]

I jokingly said to my wife: “How about I ask him to come round ours for a bit of three-way fun?”

My wife didn’t seem to mind either way and, as we got in the door, she said she was going to bed. I texted my colleague and asked if he wanted to come over.

He doesn’t live far away. My wife soon came downstairs when she heard him knock at the door. We had another drink — we had all already had quite a lot — and I suggested we go upstairs.

I was amazed when they both agreed. I didn’t really think it would happen.

Getty – Contributor

When I think about how easily she agreed to the threesome, I can’t help getting angry[/caption]

They seemed really laid back about the whole thing.

It was all so sexy and I was turned on but I stopped it when I saw her going too far with him.

I then got up to get a drink, so left them alone for five minutes. I am convinced they had sex in that time but they both denied it when I confronted them. I love my wife but am feeling confused.

I am now questioning her trust because she agreed to the threesome so easily. I just think she has a slutty side to her.

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ONE in seven couples has problems conceiving.

Many need medical treatment and you should ask your GP for advice if you have been trying for several months.

But there are also lots of self-help steps.

Email me for a copy of my e-leaflet Want To Have A Baby?

problems@deardeidre.org

DEIDRE SAYS: It is so hypocritical of you to criticise your wife’s behaviour when you were the one who suggested a threesome in the first place. Be careful what you wish for.

Getting others involved in your sex life can seem like harmless fun but it often results in real pain and lasting resentment.

You cannot turn back the clock but you do need to talk to your wife and tackle the real issue.

What is going wrong in your relationship that made you think a threesome was going to be a good idea.

Did you suggest it because you thought that you were pleasing her? Do you feel your relationship has got a bit boring?

Sex isn’t just a game. It links into deep parts of our personalities and relationships.

If the real problem is you and your wife have become a bit bored sexually, my e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help.


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