My wife and I are addicted to the thrill of having risky sex – but I worry we’re going to get caught

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD intercourse with my spouse within the lavatory at our native Turkish restaurant final Friday. We hold taking dangers like this. I fear we’re going to get caught if we supply on nevertheless it’s so thrilling.

I’m 45 and my spouse is 42. We’ve been married for 15 years. We don’t have kids as a result of it’s simply by no means occurred however we nonetheless make one another glad.

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Dangerous intercourse in public is so thrilling, it’s making regular intercourse at house appear a bit boring[/caption]

My spouse loves intercourse. After we’d had intercourse for a second time one night she mentioned she was uninterested in the identical outdated factor. She had a birthday due, so she requested me to purchase her lingerie and intercourse toys.

When she opened her presents, she gave me a full present, dressing up and cavorting round. I felt as if it had been my birthday.

We then went on to strive role-play after which we went on a picnic and tried intercourse within the woods.

Intercourse at house simply didn’t have the identical attraction after that.

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When she dressed up for me on her birthday, it felt extra like Christmas to me[/caption]

Generally we’d take a drive out and have intercourse within the countryside beneath the darkish skies. We had intercourse in my workplace as soon as when the cleaners had been within the subsequent room.

We’re not exhibitionists however this complete factor has turn out to be extra thrilling for me. There’s all the time that pleasure of getting caught which makes it extra interesting, though I’d be mortified if that occurred for actual.

We had been having a meal out on Friday evening when my spouse mentioned she wanted to go to the john and she or he gave me certainly one of her seems to be.

I gave her 5 minutes after which adopted her downstairs.

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The entire concept of getting intercourse in public locations is changing into a giant thrill for me[/caption]

We had unbelievable, fulfilling intercourse within the cramped lavatory after which went again to our desk as if nothing had occurred.

However I fear it’s going too far.

I simply wish to get the identical pleasure again at house the place we’re comfy and in personal however fear I received’t be capable to carry out with out the additional thrill.

DEIDRE SAYS: Being found might really feel very humiliating, particularly if it’s by somebody with low tolerance.

Pushing the boundaries feels nice at first nevertheless it’s like watching an excessive amount of pornography.

The addict will get bored watching vanilla intercourse and craves to see one thing an increasing number of excessive

It is possible for you to to carry out in case you have the boldness and daring to decide to actual intimacy.


MORE males wrestle to climax nowadays than ever earlier than.

It may possibly really feel like a handicap if you wish to begin a household.

My e-leaflet Man Who Finds It Laborious To Climax? explains self-help and therapy.

For a duplicate, e mail the handle under or message me on Fb

Keep in mind why you bought collectively and the way intercourse felt in these first flushes of affection.

Have date nights however come again to your secure environment at house the place you may reignite the personal ardour.

For those who had been to see a intercourse therapist, they’d advocate that you just take issues again to fundamentals and turn out to be linked once more by means of kissing and stroking and touching and therapeutic massage.

My e-leaflet on Intercourse Play Remedy explains extra.

Get in contact with Deidre at the moment

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Observe me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Solar, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).

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