My wife made derogatory comments about my performance in bed, now I can’t initiate sex anymore

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife told me I made her feel like a piece of meat, now I can’t initiate sex.

Our sex life took a nosedive after her comment. I feel I can’t touch her unless she requests it first.

My wife made comments about my performance in bed, now I can’t initiate sex
Getty – Contributor

If I want sex, I have to somehow let her know that I am in the mood.

If she is, then bingo. If not, then it has to be some other time.

I feel like someone on a fairground ride.

If the fairground is open, I can join the queue and see what happens but nothing is certain.

I have always been very aware of my shortcomings in the bedroom.

I know I have a small penis but I have tried to make up with enthusiasm for what I lack in size.

I am 49, she is 43. We have been married for 18 years but I still don’t know whether I have ever made her climax.

DEIDRE SAYS: You were clearly hurt but best ask how she would like sex to be rather than just recoiling hurt.

It’s fair enough that you both need to be in the mood for sex but it can make a big difference if you take your time and build up to sex in a sensuous and leisurely way.

Penis size is not the issue to be a good lover.

My e-leaflet on Orgasm For Women explains in more detail.


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