DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife’s best friend has started flirting with me and clearly wants us to get up close and dirty.
I love my wife but feel as if I’m walking a tightrope that’s on fire.
We have been mates with her friend and her husband for more than six years.
My wife’s pal was our chief bridesmaid and is godmother to our four-year-old son, so we are more like family.
I am 31, my wife and her friend are 29 and her husband is 35.
The mate and I have been comfortable talking about anything and everything together, including sexual stuff but, up to now, it had always been in jest.
Recently she stayed at our house for a few days while her husband was working abroad.
My wife often has to get up in the night with our son so gets very tired. She went off to bed early one night while me and her friend carried on chatting and opened another bottle of wine.
The conversation quickly became very naughty. She has lost weight and I remarked that it showed in her boobs. She said she had felt a sexual tension between us for years and had always found me very sexy and handsome.
She added that she wanted me to show her how big I was based on previous banter we’d had about size. She asked if I would sit closer to her on the settee.
At that moment I know we both wanted something to happen, but I made a jokey comment and went to make us a coffee.
We changed the subject and, eventually, we went to bed. The next day I woke up in a panic at how far the conversation had gone — though I was also gutted I didn’t take her up on her suggestion.
I know we’ve joked in the past but this came out of nowhere. Now I’m wondering where we are headed. I’m seeing her differently.
It’s forbidden fruit but, at the same time, I know it would have been an amazing experience.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Forbidden fruits are always tempting but playing games like this can get you into very hot water. Sexy banter fuelled by booze is a dangerous cocktail.
Whatever you may both have wanted to happen in the moment, be glad that sense prevailed and you didn’t allow yourself to act on temptation.
The boundaries of friendship have become blurred and now you need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. A few moments’ naughty pleasure would be soon wiped out by the pain and heartache that would be caused.
Avoid being alone with your wife’s friend in future.
Maybe your marriage has been suffering because your wife is exhausted, so how about you get up in the night with your son?
Maybe ask her friend to babysit while you take your wife out for some couple time. Clear message there.
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