Initially, this post was going to be about one story involving toothpaste in the Petty Revenge subreddit, but there were so many good quick stories in the replies about roommates or coworkers stealing stuff that I decided to put a few of them together (and we’re ending on the toothpaste story because… Goddamn is it cruel).
Had a roommate who always ate my food. I had a pizza one day and I sort of pulled up the cheese and loaded it Up with ghost pepper hot sauce and put the cheese back down. I heard him in the kitchen later and saw him bail out with a red face, unable to talk. Food went untouched after that.
My roommates never re-filled the ice trays, so one day I filled the ice tray and added an ass load of salt. If I don’t get a cool refreshing drink, nobody does.
My Dad worked at a facility where they had showers in their locker room. Since some of the chemicals they worked with were pretty gnarly, most guys took a shower at the end of their shift to make sure they didn’t carry anything home in their hair or on their skin.
So Dad goes to use his brush one day and finds it is already wet from being used and a puddle at the locker next to his. He figured the guy must have forgotten his and let’s it slide.
Then it happens day after day for maybe a week. Finally Dad has had enough. He gets to the locker rooms ahead of everyone else on his shift and takes a lightning fast shower. When the guy at the locker next to his turned the corner, there was Dad, towel over his shoulder, one leg up on the bench and naked as could be… brushing out his pubes with the same brush the guy kept using.
He never had another brush issue as long as he worked there.
Had a roommate say she “didn’t want to share” anymore, despite me and the other roomie supplying almost everything. Even though all 3 of us agreed and even coordinated each bringing part of the things we’d need for our apartment that year.
So me and the other girl moved all our shit into our room. Bitch was surprised when there were no dishes, baking pans, microwave, utensils, basic cooking staples (flour, milk, etc), Keurig, or toilet paper when she needed them. Even the broom (which she never used once anyway) was locked away.
I had this roommate who kept using my stuff in secret. I didn’t notice this in the first few weeks, but soon realized , that he has been not only using my toothpaste, but also fragrance, deodorant spray, shampoo and all kinds of stuff from the fridge (ketchup, sauces, etc.).
It just didn’t make any sense how quickly these different products emptied. He used them more than I did. For example, I only used the fragrance when I went out in the weekend, but after 2 weeks almost a quarter was gone. Since I always had to leave early in the morning, he had the freedom to use whatever he wanted.
One evening I asked him about this. He denied everything with big surprised eyes and swore that he only uses his stuff.
So I had to set a trap for him. I chose the toothpaste tube, because it was almost empty, I took a straw and poured a bit of salt inside. Since the toothpaste had already some kind of crystals inside, it was perfect for the salt crystals to blend in the mix. I placed the tube back where it was and waited for him to go brushing his teeth.
There he went a bit before midnight. Started brushing and a few seconds later I heard gagging noises. And after a few more seconds I heard him vomiting on the toilet. I guess he didn’t like the mix of sweet toothpaste and salt.When he finally dared to come out of the bathroom, he was fake smiling as if nothing happened. And he stopped using my stuff after that, or at least didn’t use as much.
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