Public restrooms are the ultimate gamble. No matter where it is, you never know what you’ll encounter or overhear when you walk through that door (for my part, the funniest thing I’ve ever overheard was a small child demanding that his father take a shit faster so they could leave the bathroom).
These stories run the range from fun/odd encounters to the dead opposite, as bathrooms tend not to be the cleanest places in terms of stories/oddities (unsurprisingly).
At a heavy metal concert (Fear Factory/Ministry/Meshuggah fwiw) and I’m in the stall poopin. Concert hasn’t started yet. I hear this convo out by the urinals:
“Oh uhh. Sorry man “
“‘salright. It’s a nice cock isn’t it?”
I had the pleasure of hearing some poor soul trying to pass a kidney stone in a movie theater restroom. His screams would have scared the shit out of me if that wasn’t why I was in there in the first place.
Overheard someone on the phone getting the results of their STD test. Which was positive.
Worked for a really Large company and decided to use the restroom near the boardroom (more private). When I walked in, one of our board members is at a urinal wearing a suit and jacket, with his pants and undies dropped all the way to the ground. Apparently that is how this 70 year old man has peed his entire life. Just odd
I was driving between Houston and Austin and stopped at a gas station to go pee. I do my business and start washing my hands when I looked up and saw a man covered head to toe in burn marks staring at me from a stall. I didn’t hear or see anyone when I went inside so I literally jumped and ran out of there. I still feel bad about it but I like to tell myself it was a ghost so I don’t feel like such an asshole.
I was at a goth club and I was nauseous because I drank too many gin and tonics, so I went to the bathroom to take a shit. My stomach hurt so I was rubbing my belly like a cartoon character as I waited for a stall to open. A gay Asian guy in bondage gear (not odd for the location) walked up to me and said “Oh honey, stomach ulcers?” and gave me a hug and patted my back.
I didn’t have a stomach ulcer but I was very compelled to hug back because I appreciated the sympathy. He then walked off without saying anything else. Seemed like a good guy.
Someone thanking jesus out loud after every splash.
Meth head in a Toronto Second Cup bathroom warned me that dolphins are not to be trusted and told me about how they’re mind controlling humans while I peed.
Not necessarily a public restroom. I worked at a financial company with over 2000 people in one office. There are around 10 different bathrooms in the building, all with multiple stalls/urinals. Anyway…
I was on my break and ran to the bathroom to relieve myself. I saw someone in one of the stalls because feet and doors were closed. As I walk up to the urinal, I hear the guy sneeze. I say “Bless you” like people do for some reason. Guy in the stall hits me back with. “That wasn’t a sneeze.”
I just left and went to a different bathroom
I was in the bathroom of a movie theatre peeing in a urinal when I felt something tug on my shirt. I turned around and there was this little kid (had to be younger than 5). He asked if I could hold him up so he can pee in the urinal next. We are the only ones in this bathroom and I’m peeing hard because I just got out of a movie. I had such a Dad moment though because I said “Ask your mom.”
He said ok and skipped out of the bathroom. I didn’t even wash my hands, I just wanted to be out of there before a dateline camera crew showed up.
I was in a stall at work browsing reddit after using the toilet and just killing time until my break was over. When what can I only tell was a somewhat older man shuffling his way over to the stall next to mine.
He then lets out a thunderous fart and sits on the toilet and moans out “oh dear god it’s the end of days.” I immediately put myself together and left that restroom before I heard any more.
Was pissing at a urinal and the guy next to me said “Don’t judge me, I’m a grower not a shower!” I mostly ignored him, then he asked me if I wanted to buy some weed from him. But before I could answer (which would have been no) he said “well it isn’t real weed, it’s fake weed, doesn’t actually get you high. It’s what I smoke when I’m practicing guitar.”
Keep it weird Austin.
When I was a kid, my parents worked in a university as professors and I would go to their offices after school until they finished work and we would go home.
Importantly, the men’s and women’s bathrooms were right next to each other. And they had the type of ceilings which are tiles resting on a grid-type metal grid.
One day, I was about 10 years old, I went to the bathroom. I was sitting on the toilet in the stall and for some reason looked up, directly over my head.
There was a guy looking down at me. He had climbed up from the men’s side, removed the ceiling tiles, and was peeping at the female college students as they went to the bathroom.
Apparently I was the first person that looked up.
It’s not very weird, but the first week I had moved to New Jersey from California I was in a bathroom and I heard two ladies speaking Spanish but it was so different. They were speaking Spanish in a NJ accent and it confused the hell out of me.
We had a company all hands meeting at an artisan theater that was way too far from our office to be cool. So after a 4 hour session of watching executives pat themselves on the back, we were finally turned loose and started the long walk back to the office.
I had to pee like crazy, so me and another guy stopped into a bar… Happened to be a gay bar, about 5pm on a weekday. When i went into the bathroom, the urinal was one of those steel troughs bolted to the wall, and there was a shirtless man laying IN the urinal, with two dudes peeing on him.
I really had to go, but noped out of that whole scene and used the toilet stall with no door on it…I could speculate why they took the doors off, but I’d rather not.
When I got done, I turned around and the guy I worked with was zipping up at the urinal.
Waking back to the office was pretty quiet, eventually I just asked “did you pee on that guy”. He said “yeah” in this quiet voice that didn’t invite further discussion.
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