Toxic relationships are bad for everyone involved. Whether it’s a long-term thing or just dating, these are the things that have been normalized that need to stop.
Clocking each other’s location in a relationship.
It’s not normal. I mean, maybe it is for some, but I really think it’s mostly controlling.
I wish that women did not believe that the man should pay for everything. Dating when you’re younger and trying to establish yourself can put a huge and unnecessary strain on someone’s finances.
Not talking about important things on a first date.
Obviously, don’t bring up what you want to name your future kids, but it’s so much better to know upfront where someone stands on the big things.
Fighting about small things. I hate hearing a friend of mine saying that fighting about the little things is normal and healthy.
You shouldn’t be fighting about who left the milk out. Fighting about little things shows how little patience and tolerance you have for each other.
Sharing a bedroom! I think it’s weird that if you’re in a relationship sharing a bedroom is what you’re supposed to do. Sure money factors a lot in your living situation but if a couple is able to afford it think it shouldn’t be looked down upon to have separate rooms.
The idea that cheating is part of the ‘highs and lows’ of a relationship. No, cheating is the END. NEXT!
The ‘clumsy husband’ and ‘annoying wife’ cliché.
No, constant complaining about what your spouse did ‘wrong’ isn’t cute and isn’t normal, even if it’s just made up for a stupid Twitter joke.
The idea that their world must revolve around each other.
I am a part of my S.O.’s world, and he is a part of mine. Together, our experiences outside of our relationship contribute to it, good or bad, whether we like it or not. How we use/apply those to make it better is up to us.
Trying to emulate relationships you see on social media.
Also, reprimanding your partner for NOT emulating what you see on social media. Don’t try to copy other people, because not everything you see online is perfect.
couples that instead of sitting down and having a talk about something that’s bothering them they just won’t say anything because they think they’re “avoiding a fight”. if you think saying something about it will cause a fight then it shouldn’t have happened in the first place and that’s why you need to talk about it
Eesh, you should NOT be fighting about having kids or buying a house. If someone doesn’t want kids you should not try to argue until they give in. You should move on.
I hate how common ghosting has become. Ghosting when you’ve spent considerable time and energy on someone is rude and immature. Just a simple “Hey, you’re a great person but I don’t think we’re compatible” is better than suddenly dropping the other person, leaving them wondering what went wrong.
Policing who your partner follows on social media.
I was with my ex for a year, and it never even occurred to me to think about who he followed on Instagram, but I have a friend who regularly checks who her boyfriend follows. If you can’t trust them, why are you with them? And if you do trust them but are still that insecure, are you really in a good place to be in a relationship?
Going through your significant other’s phone. Every time someone says they do this, I cringe. It’s not normal. It’s not okay. If you don’t trust someone, don’t be with them.
Having specific timelines for relationships.
Such as the third date is for sex. Every person and relationship is different; do things when you feel comfortable, and don’t worry that it’s too fast or too slow.
Making fun of your partner, putting them down, or insulting them and playing it off as a joke.
My ex did this all the time; there wasn’t a single day in 10 years that he didn’t make fun of how short I am, and he would tell his friends that I was ‘insane’ or ‘a psychopath.’ I let him get away with it for so long because I was used to it.
We should normalize healthy discussions around boundaries and expectations and consent.
And we should normalize being straightforward in discussions, instead of assuming adults can’t handle their emotions, and hiding things from them or [avoiding] issues.
Becoming totally absorbed in your partner and ghosting friends. I feel like I know wayyy too many friends who disappear whenever they’re in a relationship, which also makes me feel like I’m not important to them or I’m just a placeholder between partners.
Those cringey ‘I hate my spouse’–type jokes.
Tends to be common in heterosexual relationships the most — guys ragging on their friends about being ‘whipped’ or complaining about what a nag their wife or girlfriend is. They aren’t even funny or original jokes, and they just make it seem like the relationship is unhappy.
Needing to “test” your partner and using the silent treatment as punishment. Tests have no place in a relationship. The world tests us as humans enough. You are supposed to be a partner, not a parent, so why punish? It’s childish and a waste of everyone’s time.
Performative social media posts and monitoring each other’s likes, follows, etc. The amount of validation seeking and jealousy we’ve normalized insisting that being on social media as a couple is so important that you’re not “official” without it 🤢
I feel like a lack or fear of communication is sometimes normalized, and it shouldn’t be. There are so many times when I see or hear people asking for relationship advice, and the only piece of advice I can think of is, ‘Talk about this with them.’
Thinking that you have to be in a relationship. If you aren’t in a place in your life to accommodate another person, it’s okay to be single — dating isn’t mandatory.
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