We all have our stories and experiences… but when it comes to hilarious sex situations, we rarely talk about them or share them with others.
Here are some funny sex stories to keep your day entertained.
“The first time I had sex with my girlfriend, we went up to my room, and we laid down on the bed. But just as I put it in, she looked up at the ceiling and noticed I had derivative math equations taped there. The entire time, she couldn’t help but try to solve the math problem. She told me this wasn’t going to work, and we went out for pizza instead.” – Jason
“My girlfriend and I had a really hot night. I came into her as I love to. When I pulled out, we didn’t have any toilet paper or tissue nearby, so I grabbed a black t-shirt that was lying around the edge of the bed to clean ourselves.
Next morning, without thinking about it, I took this t-shirt and wore it all day. When I got home at night, my girlfriend mentioned that the back of the t-shirt was dirty and white. That was one of the most embarrassing days of my life.” – Michael
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“I was making out with a guy, pre-sex, hot and heavy, and my nose ring fell out and went in his mouth. I laughed for about 10 minutes and then we just continued. It was the funniest thing. I am still laughing about it.” – Sara
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“My girlfriend and I installed a mirror on the ceiling (we’re that kind of couple). One day, while she was on top of me, I looked at the butterfly tattoo on her back. In the mirror, upside down, it looked like a horrible skull.
Since that day, I have nicknamed her “my little pirate”. She never asked me why. I hope she never will.” – James
“One time during sex, my BF and I tried to do the ‘roll over while still boning’ thing to switch positions from me on top to missionary. We both went for it, but somehow we rolled opposite ways, and he managed to send me flying completely off the bed!. There was about a three-second silence before we both just broke down laughing.” – Maria
“I was dating this girl. We went to her house, and we began to have our first sexy times together. It was a hot summer day in a shitty apartment with no AC. All the doors and windows were open. We were going at it, and that’s when I (quite happily) found out she’s a screamer. It was intense and passionate; we lost ourselves in each other… About halfway through, a neighbor shouted out, ‘Get enough for me too girl!’
We laughed so hard.” – Leo
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“Once, I made my girlfriend squirt on the bed. But we didn’t realize that her phone was on the bed and she had accidentally dialed her aunt with her ass. Her aunt got a very graphic message on her answering machine.” – Frank
“The first time I had sex with my wife after she gave birth, I made her cum and she shot breast milk into my face. No one ever warned us that could happen. She was mortified, I thought it was the coolest thing since squirt guns.” – Sam
I slept with a guy who didn’t feel fresh in the morning and wanted me to get a washcloth to do a beneficiary attendant roleplay. #CanYouNot – Taylor
I was at a bar. I left with the hottest guy for a one-night. He kept talking WHILE we were doing it:
“I love touching your thighs. And now I put my hand here. And there …. “
“There my cock went in …”
Come on, I’m here too, I see what’s going on!
I ended up telling him “no need for a narrator, you know” – Julia
“While we were having really good sex, the small bullet vibrator we were using somehow made its way further in than it was supposed to and got stuck. It took about 30 minutes to fish it back out. It was on the entire time.” – Amy
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