So far, I’ve :
So far, I’ve been fairly lucky buying a condo this year. My neighbors seem chill, my contact for the HOA is actually attentive and answers my calls/emails about stuff, and I love the location.
I already felt lucky, but I feel beyond lucky after collecting these horror stories of some truly awful neighbors:
My mom has a neighbor who literally looks through her window to try to see into the house. She’s had to call the cops on her multiple times.
Apartment building- The upstairs neighbours dog peed on their patio and it dripped down onto me while I was sitting outside reading. I yelled and ran to shower and when I texted them to ask them to take their dog out to pee in future they said it wasn’t their dog and it must have blown over from somewhere else. What?
I have a few from the same neighbor who I’ll call Linda. Linda would often have men outside the apartment building that she locked out screaming her name. But the best story regards a boyfriend Linda had who insisted my room mate and I call him “The Captain.”
About a week after meeting him, we came home to a wedding announcement for Linda and The Captain. Yes, his name was The Captain on the announcement. Exactly one week later still, The Captain was arrested outside our apartment building for public intoxication at 2 AM while screaming “I’ve made a huge mistake, fuck you Linda! A huge mistake! I’m ruined!”
Dude pretended to be a reverend but was actually just a filthy fucking hoarder. He insisted on wearing sandals all of the time, and whenever he left his flat, the entire stairwell would stink of century old unwashed feet.
Eventually, the beetles that had infested his flat crawled up and into our kitchen and then everywhere.
Took months to get him evicted. Fuck that guy.
I used to live in a house that was split into two apartments. My neighbors had the lower half, and I learned we had issues with the HVAC when their cigarette smoke came visibly pouring out our registers: stank up everything we owned.
Then one of them stole my car.
Had one that would basically steal our mail and other stuff from our porch and yard. Caught her once to confront her and she started yelling at me to stop attacking her and tried to say I was stealing her stuff. Ended up with the police getting called and us filing a restraining order against her.
Our neighbor was tossing bags of her vomit into my yard for about a year. Like 50 bags. Called the cops. Turns out she had an eating disorder she was hiding from her parents
I have a schizophrenic neighbor that has believed for years that I am hacking his electronic devices, scanning his phone, harassing/terrorizing him, etc. Over the years he has claimed I’ve held an old man hostage in my condo, allowed blood to drip from my patio to his, and that I’m a terrible racist. He leaves notes on the inside of his car accusing me of these things.
Asshole neighbors from my building let a robber into a guys apartment, he was home and almost killed the guy.
My neighbors have fights in the street.
Guy owned 6 cars and kept them all parked on the street in a very congested block of apartments. Spent hours tending to them, and they somehow always looked rustier when he was done. If a leaf landed on one of his cars he would accuse the neighborhood of intentionally placing leaves on his car to annoy him.
Our current neighbors have 2 dogs they let out into their tiny backyard that borders our driveway. They never, ever pick up the dog poop and it smells like shit. Also, one of the dogs freaks out when she sees us. They mow their lawn maybe 4 times a year. The grass gets so tall, it’s taller than the smaller dog.
We are putting up a privacy fence next week. I cannot wait!
One of them almost shot me when I was a little kid. I was playing in front of my apartment building when my neighbor got into an argument with one of these other guys from down the street. Not sure what exactly the problem was, but my neighbor didnt like it so he pulled out a pistol from his front pocket and fired a couple of bullets. A stray flew right past my face, damn near hit me. My moms friend from the next floor down grabbed me and pulled me inside
I was in the burbs. There was a house that let their dog bark all day, another house would party until 3am and the people living behind us would throw their dirty diapers into our backyard.
The party house and the dog barking house, made me miss so much work. Nothing like calling your boss and saying “I cant drive to work because in the last 3 days I have had 4 hours sleep”
Current neighbor. She has a small business practice out of her home. She had her customers park on my yard (easement, technically) despite the town telling her she couldn’t. Despite all the times I told her to stop, she never did until one person parked facing my house, 2ft from my no trespassing signs… cops got called. I filled a complaint against the customer. (Never saw that car again, btw.)
Then she tried to lease my front yard. Then she tried to buy my house while we lived in it. She told contractors that they could access her yard through ours, they dumps loads of gravel and sand in my front yard as their storage area, and a cement truck tore 18in ruts in my yard.
A tree on the property line was infested with termites and a huge branch fell on a mutually owned fence… she demanded we pay to have the limb removed because it was damaging the (horribly dilapidated) fence, but she didn’t want us to cut down the tree because of the shade it provided her back patio, that was installed at the expense of my yard.
The whole tree came down.
She fucked my husband, while I was in the hospital giving birth to our daughter.
We had some neighbours that used to leave their garbage out in plastic bags the night before garbage day – instead of putting it in a bin. Around here, that’s just ringing the dinner bell for raccoons and other critters.
Sure enough come morning there’s garbage strewn all over the neighbourhood. What the raccoons and skunks didn’t spread around, the wind picked up the slack. Some of the people on the street kindly approached the guy and asked him to put his garbage in a bin. He told them to go fuck themselves.
Thus began the Garbage Wars.
Every morning of garbage day some people on my street would collect all the half eaten and rotten trash from their lawns and toss it back into the dude’s backyard. He would collect it, then dump it back on their lawns. Or cram it into their bushes. People started finding half eaten burritos and candy wrappers in their mailboxes. The street started to look like a slum. Police were called. Health inspectors. City by-law enforcement. Each side was calling in whatever authority they could muster to get their enemy in shit.
The dude and his family (amazingly his wife seemed perfectly pleasant) lasted about 8 months then moved.
Every once in a while I find a random margarine lid or piece of styrofoam in my hedge, and my mind goes back to those dark days of war.
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