A cup of joe has been around long enough that the laundry mailing list myths about it is seemingly boundless. There are all sorts of old wives’ asi about the way we start today’s day, but most of them are charitably known as bullshit. With some help from our each other at Death Would like Coffee , we’re here to finally bust a few of these myths so you can swallow your coffee in peace.
Coffee hese myths so you can drink your coffee in peace.
Myth: Coffee Makes You Lose Weight
For anyone out there hoping to shed some pounds through coffee alone, I have some bad news.
While coffee does heighten your metabolism and reduce your appetite, it’s for such a short period of time that coffee by itself will not make a meaningful dent in your weight. However, coffee can be a bit helpful should you start exercising and doing the hard work it takes to lose weight.
Myth: Coffee Dehydrates You
Consider one thing about a cup of coffee:
It has water in it. Quite a bit of it, actually.
Unless you’re literally just drinking coffee grinds with no liquid at all, coffee can actually count as part of your daily intake of water since it has water in it. It does not dehydrate you, though considering how coffee can send you to the bathroom, we’re not surprised people believe this myth.
Myth: Coffee Stunts Growth
Well, this is total bullshit.
Like so many myths, this has no scientific basis whatsoever. What might be a bit more surprising is exactly where it comes from, which was an advertising campaign in the early 20th century. A coffee substitute called Postum claimed in its ads that it was “Safe for kids because it won’t stunt their growth,” implying coffee would. They just printed this to try and kill the competition, and it didn’t work then, but the myth has persisted for nearly 100 years since.
Myth: Instant Coffee Loses The Properties of “Real” Coffee
Look, we’re not going to try and convince you that instant coffee is quite as good as the real thing when it comes to things like flavor and looks, but when it comes to any chemical properties, instant coffee is as good as the real thing (maybe even better?).
One of the biggest myths about instant coffee is that it lacks the antioxidants of real coffee, one of the health benefits found in coffee. The truth is the exact opposite: Instant coffee often has a higher concentration of antioxidants.
Myth: Decaf Coffee Has No Caffeine
This may come as a shock to you, but decaf coffee absolutely has caffeine in it.
It’s just that the level of caffeine is significantly lower than regular coffee, to the point where it has no noticeable effect on whoever drinks it. Hell, to get the amount of caffeine you’d find in just 1-2 cups of regular coffee, you’d have to drink 6-10 cups of decaf coffee.
Myth: A Cup of Coffee Will Sober You Up
I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade who swears by this method, but science doesn’t exactly support this claim. Unfortunately, scientific studies have found that drinking anything with caffeine to “sober up” may actually impair your judgment even further by making you feel awake enough to make worse decisions.
Though, there is some science to explain why people believe this myth. Coffee definitely can make you more alert, even when intoxicated, and that added alertness can trick an intoxicated person into believing they’ve sobered up.
Myth: Coffee Causes Cancer and Heart Disease
First up, we mentioned antioxidants a bit earlier. Both regular coffee and instant coffee have it, and antioxidants are known to reduce the risk of cancer, so we can put this one to bed pretty quickly.
The heart disease question is slightly more complicated, if only because coffee does make your heart rate go up. That being said, unless you already have high blood pressure, this temporary increase doesn’t have any long term effects. And just like basically any product on the planet Earth, the only way coffee is going to get you heart disease is if you drink WAY too much of it, and not a cutesy “I need three cups just to make it through the day” amount of coffee.
The amount of coffee you’d have to consume would be… Beyond obscene.
Myth: An Afternoon Cup of Coffee Will Keep You From Sleeping
So, this is mostly a myth (I’ll explain “mostly” in just a moment). The human liver is pretty good at breaking down caffeine, usually processing at least 75% of the caffeine in anywhere between 4 to 7 hours, meaning that if you have a cup at 2:00 or 3:00, chances are it’ll be broken down by the time you climb into bed.
UNLESS, your body slowly metabolizes coffee, which is a thing that some people suffer from. If that’s your case, then this isn’t a myth.
Myth: Coffee is Highly Addictive
To be clear, we are not saying that caffeine isn’t a stimulant that your brain can end up craving. In theory, you can develop a “dependency” on caffeine in coffee that will give you “withdrawal.”
Trainspotting this is not. Caffeine withdrawal lasts one or two days tops, with extremely mild symptoms. By definition, a highly addictive substance’s severe withdrawals is one of the things that makes the substance addictive, and if you can kick an addictive substance in the amount of time it takes to binge-watch all of the Forged in Fire episodes that are on Netflix at the time of writing, then it hardly qualifies as “highly” addictive.
Thankfully, one thing about coffee that isn’t a myth is how strong Death Wish Coffee is. And right now they’re offering Chivers 15% off all products, FREE SHIPPING on ALL orders, and a 100% no BS money-back guarantee if it’s not the strongest coffee you’ve ever had. Just use discount code TheChive and get brewin’!
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