I deeply sympathize with teachers. It’s not quite a thankless job, but it’s damn close, and almost every time I hear a story about someone’s “horrible teacher” story, I can’t help but be a little skeptical that maybe they were just a shitty kid.
But these teachers are just full of shit, so don’t worry about feeling bad as we tread through some of the dumbest stuff teachers tried to teach their kids that was blatantly false.
Computer teacher told us if you use “cut” on an image on a website that it will be removed from the website and will upset the website maker, so be sure to use “copy”.
The teacher put materials from plants and materials from animals on a board. We could not convince her that wool was not a plant.
My grade 6 teacher told me that “fatigued” was in fact not a word when I used it in a short story and insisted that I looked in the dictionary. Found it in the dictionary in about 2 minutes and proved her wrong in front of the whole class.
7 billion people died in WWII, 200 million Russians included.
That a Big Mac from McDonalds overwhelms your stomach with so much of everything that it doesn’t register you’ve eaten anything and that’s why you get hungry again so quickly after.
That dogs evolved longer faces so they could smell things around corners…
You don’t need to know about periods yet because you aren’t 16. I was 12 and had had them for a year.
While teaching Japanese history, my teacher was entirely convinced that the suicide of a Japanese Samurai was called sudoku, instead of seppuku
“Sodomize” instead of “cauterize” the wound.
We were playing a game where you had to name a thing beginning with each letter of the alphabet
I said Orangutan for O and my cookery teacher stopped and shouted NO NO ORANGUTAN IS WRONG IT STARTS WITH AN A HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A ZOO AND SEEN ONE?
She wouldn’t let me prove it and i lost the game because of it. Its been 7 years and i still cant forget it.
I had a teacher that swore that Harriet Tubman and “the Underground Railroad” was a physical railroad that ran under the ground!
One of my first teachers told the class that the sea is blue because it’s a reflection of the sky. That same teacher, later in the year, told the same class that the sky was blue because it was a reflection of the sea. We lived on land; the sky should be green or brown; the sea, being only a reflection of a reflection, should be copying that green or brown. I pointed this out, began to present the correct answer, and was promptly sent out of the room for “being disruptive”.
“If you have sex before marriage then you will die soon after”
“If you have anal sex then you will turn gay”
“If you jump up and down after sex, then it will kill the sperm and you can’t get pregnant”
Just a few of the top tips I got told in HS
I’ll start. A teacher of mine told us that the left side of your body your feminine side, the right side is your masculine side. That’s why your skin is better on your left, your right is stronger, etc.
God what the hell?
Don’t know if that counts but we had the police come to our class and warn us of the dangers of drugs.
They told us some people inject cannabis with a syringe. Doesn’t matter how good the rest of the presentation was, they’ve lost all credibility with that and probably did more harm than good with that talk
“Meteorologist study the science of meteorites”
Science teacher, during the sex ed portion of the year, said all penises are the same size “when it counts” (i.e. when erect). Classmate then asked why boobs can be different sizes, but the penis is the same for all men. Teacher them said she didn’t know and that would be a question she would ask St.Peter when arriving at the pearly gates.
I have a feeling the science teacher never saw more than one erect penis.
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