FANCY yourself as a tough guy? Reckon you could take on the world and win?
Then you may have a touch of the Vladimir Putins – an urge to dominate the planet while riding a horse topless. New book, Vladimir Putin: Life Coach, by Rob Sears, explains the condition. Try this quiz, adapted by Graeme Culliford and Ben Griffiths, to see if you are a Vlad lad, or just Putin it on.
Fancy yourself as a tough guy? Take this quiz to see if you are a Vlad lad, or just Putin it on[/caption]
Q: What’s your favourite game?
C. Five-dimensional chess with human beings instead of pawns, ready to be sacrificed at a moment’s notice
Do you get an urge to dominate the planet while riding a horse topless? Carry on with the quiz[/caption]
Q: Do you rent or own your home?
C. I’ve taken over a bit of someone else’s house, but we don’t need to talk about that
Q: A friend tells you a secret. What do you do?
A. Keep it to myself, as I promised them I would
B. Yay, gossip
C. Store the new asset in my dossier of secrets until its usefulness exceeds my friend’s usefulness
Q: How do you keep fit?
A. I have a dancercise app on my phone but the ads are really annoying
C. My workout partner dresses up as a bear and we wrestle for three hours a day. Or I ride a horse with my shirt off
Q: Your American friends want to go for pizza but you’re in the mood for Chinese. What do you do?
A. The pizza place is fine, I can just have a side salad
B. Agree to eat separately and meet up for drinks later
C. Take out ads on their Facebook feeds showing Hillary Clinton French-kissing a musclebound Satan with the caption ‘Pizza is for losers’
Q: It’s your first day in a new job. Do you:
A. Blend in and avoid drawing any attention to myself
B. Be professional and assertive – they didn’t hire me to be a bystander
C. Impress everyone by charging in, clutching a crossbow and wearing my judo black belt as a sweatband
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- Mostly As: You are zero per cent Putin and can carry on as you are, with no risk of invading your neighbours, endangering the world or interfering in foreign elections.
- Mostly Bs: Looks like you’re a pretty balanced individual, but you may have a trace of Putin in you. Proceed with caution – and stop straight away if you notice yourself interlacing your fingers and inwardly scheming for more than 15 minutes a day.
- Mostly Cs: You’re already a proto-Putin. We can’t stop you – perhaps no one can – but, for the future of the planet, we just hope you won’t go Russian into anything crazy . . .