Sometimes it’s better to just say nothing than to say anything at all. This applies to after sex as well. Men, learn from these mistakes and, please, just shut up. It’s what’s best for everyone involved.
He played, “I Just Had Sex” by The Lonely Island while on the phone with his best friend. With me still in the bed …when we JUST lost our virginities to each other.
Whoopsie daisy! after he finished too quickly
OOOH boy… I was hooking up with this guy in his on-campus apartment, which he shared with his brother. Brother wasn’t home, so we were doing the do with the bedroom door open. Brother comes home in the middle of it, sees straight through the hallway into the room. He fumbles around and then leaves.
I’m embarrassed and kinda want to get outta there but he wants to finish so I think what the hell, why not. I wonder if he’s close to cumming so I ask, “are you close?” And he responds with, “Yeah, we’re brothers”
Dumb, and shitty: “I guess you can only fuck so many people before you realize you still hate yourself.”
did you sleep with Bojack horseman
Cuddling in the afterglow, him gazing adoringly at my nude body…whispers…”I’ve just never seen boobs as small as yours.”
Nothing, he just started playing league of legends
I had sex with a guy I dated for a few months and afterward, he said “your vagina is smaller than other vaginas I’ve had sex with.”
I just responded with “thanks?” I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment, criticism, or mere observation.
I gave a dude a blowjob and apparently, he’d never come from one before (who knows If that was true)
Anyway, after he goes, “oh my god. That was amazing. I thought there was something wrong with me. You need to have daughters”
Yes, my mother taught me about sex, birth control, and how to suck dick.
“I think I miss my ex…”
Me: gives blowjob
Guy: did you cum babe?
Dude tried to give me a compliment by saying you have “plumpy pussylips” Dude did not realize that was borderline weird to say I started laughing.
I was snuggling with my boyfriend in the afterglow and I looked up at him and asked, “What are you thinking about?” Thinking he would say something sweet. This bitch deadass looks down at me and says “Mudflaps”.
Can we all agree that humans are kinda awful? Root for the aliens with this tee, which you can get HERE.
Don’t quite agree? Just keep scrolling and you will.
A guy once said “you’re welcome” after he was finished. It was quick and so uneventful I was just completely shocked. Like thanks dude for fucking me? I just started laughing and I never hooked up with him again.
“Okay are we done?”
I guess he was too afraid to ask whether or not I came and that was his way of doing it.
He didn’t say it, but afterward he grabbed his phone and went on a tracking app and tracked that he had sex that day.
He told me, with all the sincerity in the world as some weird compliment: “You would make a great single mother.”
“I bet I just ROCKED your WORLD.” (he did not)
“Hey, don’t tell anyone about last night. I get enough shit for being vegan.” A phrase that has stuck with me for 10+ years. Not so much “dumb” as just cruel..
his window was open during the deed & when we got done he closed it and said “I really hope someone heard that”
I am suuuuper late to the party, but once a guy said to me after sex: I know you almost came, that’s why I stopped so the bed doesn’t get wet.
He kind of dipped in, nutted, went to roll over to sleep — I told him I wasn’t done yet. And his response “oh, okay. Do you want a back rub?” I kind of wanted to cum my dude but okay….
“Mind if I hit this?” And then he pulled out a vape pen he’d hidden under the bed. My bed. Specifically for this reason.
Edit: He was not being ironic. He also dumped me four times (I was young and dumb) for a girl that lived in Norway and used to bring a box of wine and an avocado to parties. Just for himself. He’d eat it while he tried to find people to fight. Eli, if you’re reading this, thanks for the reddit fame.
“You don’t feel like warm apple pie” To which I said, “How do you know what apple pie feels like?” No answer to that one.
Not after. During. He stopped me while I was performing a nice act for him and he said “wait. What was your name again?”
“Would you believe me if I said I actually enjoyed spending time with you?”
Like this post
Why funny textbacklinkexchanges.com ? Because individuals imagine in the truthfulness of funny data. People Read newspaper https://textbacklinkexchanges.com for up to date information which they will’t get as a result of busy life fashion and extra for the new product provide, new schemes provided by close by distributors. Most of the individuals choose information picture paper to get new product data and good shopping for alternative and likewise for information replace. Most of the Business group used this media to advertise their product or providers as a result of funny pic are cheap promoting medium which covers quite a lot of clients shortly and having good impression on the buyer relating to truthfulness which supplies them good returns. It’s additionally a great way to share the announcement which spreads shortly to need a part of society.
(Visited 41 times, 1 visits today)