Look… I tend not to be super skeptical of the stories I’ve gathered from Reddit. They tend to be mostly believable, and I’ve lived a profoundly weird life at times. Truly bizarre shit actually happens all the time.
But some of these are so strange, I literally don’t know if I believe a few of them. I’ll let y’all sort it out.
We were out drinking when one of my friends was approached by a girl who was, well, I thought she was a little drunk but not too bad off.
At any rate she was coming on to my friend pretty heavily and he was shrugging her off. We finally decide to leave since the girl really wouldn’t let him alone and as we go she shouts across the bar “FUCK MY CERVIX”
“If you take me to Red Robin I’ll fuck you.”
Held my 21st birthday party at my apartment in college on a Friday night. Girl I was kind of friends with (friend of a friend) and who I had been flirting with for a few weeks shows up, and asks me to unlock my bedroom so she can leave her toothbrush and clothes for tomorrow in there.
I was in my early twenties, sitting with a large group at a blues bar. This cougar with enormous jugs and breath that could pickle cabbage had been eying me up for the better part of an hour, and finally got up the nerve to come over to our table. She leaned over and said “God you’re fucking hot. You remind me of my son.”
Some girl I was talking to over AIM said she was “waiting” for me to date her. This is a girl who I only talked to once in highschool, so it was like 4 years later (she found me on MySpace). She said all of this stuff about how we were supposed to be together and engage in copious amounts of sex.
Needless to say, I was pretty shocked, so I sat there trying to think of something to say, then she calls me and says that it was her cousin typing to me on her AIM name, or something. She then said something like “either way, I’m willing to fuck if you are.”
She was a very strange person.
I go to college on this tiny campus (Lawrence University) in Wisconsin. This is a place where security’s a joke, because NOTHING bad happens. I was walking home kinda late one night when this car comes driving by, stops, and the driver leans out and asks ‘Where can we find prostitutes?’ I told him ‘I don’t know’, to which he replied ‘Well, will YOU sleep with my friend here? We’ll pay you a lot!’
I said that my boyfriend would be rather annoyed if I slept with someone else, even for money. He told me I was really sexy, I thanked him and walked away.
Some Filipino guy who moved into an apartment a few doors down sees me one night and asks me, “Do you suck cock?” After an awkward silence and some strange conversation I go back to my apartment. A few days later he leaves a handwritten note taped to my front door, written in broken english, saying in effect he wants to suck my cock. I never talked to him again.
A girl walked up to me and just grabbed my balls, and said its ok its her birthday…
One summer for extra cash (I might have been 20 at the time), I took a job with a taxi company that the father of a friend of mine owned.
One day I bring a pretty nasty looking, strung-out chick from a housing project to the super market. The meter lands on $5.10 – She looks at me, holds a five out and says, “what can I do to make up the rest?” with a suggestive tone. I just came right back, “If its only worth 10 cents, I don’t want it.”
A couple of weeks ago this guy walked up to me and asked, “can I get some money from you?”
I was in a hurry to get to a meeting for work and I honestly didn’t have any so I told him the truth, “sorry man, I don’t have any.”
“Okay, so can I get a ride somewhere?”
“Look, I’m kind of late as it is, I’m sorry.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“…you wanna be?” followed by an eyebrow waggle.
It was the weirdest exchange I’ve had with a panderer/ person in need of a ride/ someone coming on to me.
So I have a profile on a dating website and I get a message from a pregnant chick saying “are you free tonight?” and out of curiousity I reply “sure what’s up?” she replies back “well, I liked your profile and I’m just looking for a guy to come over between 9 and 10pm, give me a cream pie and leave. By the way, Ive done some porn and if you google my name you should find me. The rule is, come over, creampie, no condom and leave.”
I looked her up and she was from my city but there was no way I was going to fall for this ploy. I reply telling her (or whoever it was) to stop wasting my time and go find some other idiot to fall for this. She replied back cussing me out. I feel bad for anyone who fell for this. Couple things came to mind: robbery attempt or finding a sucker to frame.
One night, I had dropped acid with some friends, and then a few hours later we proceeded to get really stoned as well. So, I’m upstairs from where I live, at my friends place. I’m tripping balls and decide I really need to sleep, so I pack up the last of my weed and head down to my apartment. It took me a good 20 minutes to get down the stairs, since I’d sort of space out every few steps (at least I assume it did, I was way fucked up).
My buddy’s skanky gf apparently came down after me, cause she wanted more of my weed. When I refused her, she offered to fuck me for the pot. In my addled mind, I was searching for reasons to turn her down (I had the crazy idea that if I just said no, my buddy would be all offended. Go drugs!) so I told her I had no condoms, so couldn’t do it.
She then suggested I just wrap my cock with a bedsheet and give it to her that way. Some sort of primal part of my mind saw through the haze of LSD and pot, and recognized how fucking bad the rugburn on my cock would be if I did that, and I was able to remain coherent long enough to get her out of my apartment.
Then I passed out to hallucinations of Transformers.
I once had a girl walk up to me randomly in a supermarket, never saw her before, and ask if I would father a child on her. Blew me away so bad that I kind of just walked away from it. Been kicking myself since. Shit. Very strange though. Not let’s fuck but father a child. What?
I was at a dirty rock bar one night playing pool with a few friends. Almost the entire time this socially awkward physically unattractive girl is hovering around our group and walking back and forth into my line of site. It quickly became obvious that she was interested in talking to us, as she seemed to be at the bar by herself. The first thing she says to me is, “You used to play dungeons and dragons didn’t you.”
I could be wrong, but my physical appearance doesn’t suggest that I used to play dungeons and dragons. I only add this in, because it just seems like a completely random way to start a conversation at a dirty rock bar. I see she’s lonely so I start chatting with her and notice she is carrying around this notebook. After talking about the band for a little bit, she tell’s me this a journal of sorts where she writes down ideas, poems and short stories.
She asks me if i would like to read something. I say sure, why not. It was a short story about a girl going to a bar with a purse full of condoms, picking up random guys and having crazy sex with them. After I get done reading it, she looks at me, opens her purse that has a ton of condoms in it, and says, “So what did you think of my story?”
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