Look, none of these stories are particularly recent (not a lot of opportunities over the past year to confiscate items from students in person), but they sure are weird as hell and (usually) funny, so humor me, all right?
A small trinket box (about palm sized), decorated with gems and glitter, with a live mouse inside. The mouse was named Jimmy and had been caught in the child’s house.
A plastic statue of the Virgin Mary with the face melted off. It was so bizarre, I kept it in my desk for many years.
Chef’s knife stuffed in the waistband of his sweatpants (no underwear) during a snowstorm.
Eyeballs. I worked with a blind student with autism. When he would get angry, he would pop out his glass eyeballs and throw them across the room. They were expensive, so mom asked that we put them in a plastic bag in his backpack if he threw them…. no more eyeballs for you today! 🙈
Christmas ornaments. They were throwing them at each other and it eventually caused a fight.
Next to that would be a curtain rod. He found it and kept hitting people with it.
Instant pudding. My student was mixing it in a large Cool Whip container, using milk from lunch, right in the middle of a lesson on Macbeth.
my sisters teacher had to call my dad about a suspicious powder my sister was eating out of a bag at school. she was dipping her finger in a bag of powdered jell-o and eating it and letting other kids do the same.
This is my brother’s story, and he was the kid. It was a sandwich bag full of spiders. He collected them during recess, and one of the monitors probably got freaked out.
First thing that came to mind – a drawing of a peanut. One kid said he had a peanut allergy, so a boy drew a peanut on a piece of paper, and started shoving it in the other boy’s face and being a general dick with it.
A whole salami. Kid kept walking over to his backpack and sticking his face in to take secret bites without me noticing….I noticed.
Handcuffs. From an 8 year old girl. Not quite police grade, but more than just some “adult fun” cuffs. Sent that down to the counselor.
a girl had about 50 plastic spoons in her pocket, she tripped and tey all fell out, we all found it hilarious but a high up teacher was walking by and made her pick them up (she was going to anyway) and put them all in the bin
he was probably very confused over the whole situation
A giant head of lettuce that just suddenly appeared on his desk. Where did he get it?!
A kid brought blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle to lunch on April Fools Day and we had to take it so younger kids wouldn’t think it was real.
Zip lock bags filled with water. That was a trend for a while at my school.
Kids would claim they needed it in case they got thirsty, but usually would just try to pop them in each other’s laps during class.
A can of deodorant. You’re probably thinking « eh that’s not that weird », except that the 2 kids were using it by spraying it on the back of the other and then setting fire to the thing. In the middle of the class. They didn’t see any problem with it because « it only stays lit for a few seconds »
An uncooked chicken breast. Actually, two uncooked, boneless chicken breasts. The student had one in each pocket.
An entire menagerie of live insects. One afternoon my class decided that they should see how many bugs they could capture and keep alive in my classroom. The next day, I returned from covering lunch duty in another part of the school and noticed that one of the cubbies had paper towel taped over the front like a curtain. Before I could investigate, I noticed several Tupperware containers hiding in desks.
Dozens of worms (that was the cubby) Many assorted beetles Uncounted ants 4 bees A wasp And, most upsetting, several flies which were crazy glued to index cards and had their wings removed.
That was a long day in a long year.
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