Drank a shit ton of milk when I was a kid because I believed lactose-intolerant people were wimps.
Lo and behold, I’ll shit my pants if I have a glass of milk nowadays.
When I got put in charge of people at work I said I was gonna be a cool boss!
And then I realized that there’s a lot more to it and omfg these idiots are fucking up and I have to answer for it
I bought crocs and a weedwacker on the same day, end me now.
I used to be anti smartphone. Now if it’s not by my side I go crazy.
Won the 8th grade poetry slam by writing a poem about my anger towards my grandfather for drinking and smoking himself to death.
By my 22nd birthday I was putting down 2 packs of cigarettes and a pint every day.
Now I’m 3 months sober and clean from cigs though.
2 years ago, i put down new grass in the small part of the frontyard that i own. i sat down, picked up a book and and read a bit in the garden. when i looked up my nephew from next door was rolling across my freshly layed down patch of grass.
i told him to “get off my lawn”.
i was 26. age happens faster than you think
A few years ago I would say “yo” ironically to make fun of people who said “yo.” Now I start almost every conversation with “yo dude”
In the late 80s, early 90s, I was a typical skater/punk/metal head teen. I swore up and down I would never “settle down”. I didn’t want some 9-5 life with the house and family.
I am happily married, have a great career, and love every second of it. There are times when I sort of wonder what my life would have been if I just kept doing what I was doing. But I’m pretty sure I would be miserable. Screwing around and partying is fun when you are 17-23, but in my 40s. Fuck that. I’m tired.
The day I told my daughter she cant have ice cream for breakfast
I always said I’d never be a pet person…. but we’re fostering a cat while its owner is in hospital and now its 1AM and I’m on the sofa with Buddy cuddling up to me and…. yeah…. it’s kinda cool.
My parents are African and they always made the food so fucking spicy when I was a kid. Now, I’m like this meal needs more cayenne and scotch bonnets.
I used to hate poached eggs and eggs benedict.
Boy, was I an idiot
I installed snapchat.
I vehemently insisted that leggings weren’t pants and should only be worn with dresses or skirts. Ten years, one baby, and one pandemic later? Sure, they’re pants. They’re practically formalwear at this point.
I used to laugh at veiny hyper muscular guys at the gym dropping weights, grunting unnecessarily loudly, carrying a whole supp bag to the gym for an hour workout, but now, 5 years later, it’s me.
i used to think metal was bad and i would never listen to metal. now I listen to death metal, pirate metal, technical death metal, and more metal.
When I started waking up early and drinking black coffee because I enjoy it.
I used to hate the concept of anime. (Even though I didn’t realize Pokemon was one) Now I read manga like nobody’s business and spend my Sunday evenings doing nothing but watching the newest seasonal episodes.
I tried to quit smoking using chantix in 2008/2009. It didn’t work because the nightmares were so graphic and scary. I had two before I stopped taking it. I don’t remember the first one but the second one, I killed a guy by removing his limbs very slowly. It really grossed me out. Didn’t realize I was capable of that sort of barbarity even in some unlocked portion of my mind.
Now I do autopsies for a living. It’s weird that elements of my absolute worst night mare is part of my day to day. Had a cop ask me to remove a guys hands a couple weeks ago and it’s literally not even crossed my mind a second time until just now.
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