The tug life chose them . the sexiest Valentine’s Day ever…. (48 Photos)

Hello and welcome to another installment of ‘Hunnies & Funnies’! We’ve got a few changes this week:

1. From now on, every gallery is going to have a theme. You may have noticed this already: Last week, it was squishy, the week before, it was Chivettes. This week, SMILES!

2. In the interest of switching things up (and ensuring that we don’t cover up any of the beautiful ladies) I’ll be keeping the jokes under each photo. Enjoy! We can always use a little smile.

**How do skunks know who to spray and who not to spray?**

*Instink*

**How Long is a Chinese name.**

*Yes. Yes it is.*

**If you cut off your left arm**

*Your right arm will be left.*

**Scientist: “My findings are meaningless if taken out of context.”**

*Media: “Scientist claims his findings are meaningless.”*

**My wife called me saying three girls in the office have received flowers for Valentine’s day, and that they’re gorgeous.**

*I said “Well that’s probably why they got flowers then.”*

**What must you have if you want to crash a train?**

*A loco motive.*

**On the train today I saw a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself: Please don’t get an erection, please don’t get an erection…”**

*But she did.*

**Why to people with foot fetishes never win?**

*Because they love the taste of defeat.*

**After my wife died I couldn’t look at another woman for 20 years.**

*But when I got out of prison it was worth it.*

**The best pizza I’ve ever had was just a plain dough base.**

*Nothing ever topped that.*

**When I tell people that I sleep like a baby they always seem pleased.**

*Maybe I should find a better way of telling them that I wake up at 3 AM screaming and covered in my own piss.*

**I’m taking an Irish and Spanish history class.**

*It’s called History Juan O’Juan.*

**When a woman gets to a certain age, she starts to accumulate cats.**

*This is known as many paws.*

**My first job out of high school was delivering fish.**

*I used to stand in the river, mopping the fish’s head, and just comfortingly saying, “Deep breath, now push, push again, you’re almost there…”*

**My dentist reminded me of my wife’s gag reflex. We both had a nice little chuckle over it.**

*Until I realized we have different dentists.*

**I was going to make animal obesity jokes…**

*But I decided against it as it would be hippo-critical.*

**Ever wonder why Ariel wore seashells?**

*She outgrew her B-Shells.*

**Doctor: Today we will deliver the baby.**

*Dad: Actually, we would like for her to keep her liver.*

**I was fired from my job today for telling a woman that her hair smelled great.**

*They’re just discriminating against me because I’m a midget.*

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