Former boxing promoter Kellie Maloney has revealed she attempted suicide after falling in with the wrong crowd and missing her previous life as Frank.
The transgender star said she was mixing with the wrong friends which lead to doubts over her transition.
The transgender star (left, after the transition and, right, with boxer Sam Webb, before the transition) said she was mixing with the wrong friends which lead to doubts over her transition.
The transgender star is pictured taking part in Celebrity Big Brother and has revealed the struggles she faced after reassignment
Tyson Fury and John Mcdermott are pictured sat either side of Promoter Frank Maloney
Now the former Celebrity Big Brother star says she does not regret undergoing gender reassignment surgery but fell into a dark place and began having doubts.
She said she missed her old glamorous life as a boxing promoter, which in her hayday saw her manage world undisputed heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis from 1989 until the fighter retired in 2003.
Since announcing her gender reassignment plans in 2014, Ms Maloney has had to distance herself from the sport after some mocked her decision.
Kellie Maloney on Celebrity Big Brother in 2014. She revealed she recently made an attempt to tend her life by taking a cocktail of alcohol and painkillers
Lewis said he was shocked when the announcement was made but supported her decision.
But Ms Maloney said she has since ‘struggled with her sexuality’ and began to drink heavily to combat her loneliness.
One night Ms Maloney said she woke up top find herself tied to a hospital bed after collapsing from taking tablets including painkillers for her pet dog.
She told the Sun: ‘It’s about how I deal with them [dark thoughts]. That’s what I’ve got under control. I still struggle with my sexuality, and I probably always will. I’ve never woken up next to somebody as Kellie.
‘I still don’t really know if I want to meet a male or a female partner – and I struggle with being accepted. But I know that I do have a good life compared to many other trans people.
‘I was frightened to tell people how I felt. I was drinking, saying stupid things, living my life through a wine bottle. I think it’s always going to be in my mind that this could happen again.
Audley Harrison apologises to Kellie Maloney and they have an emotional chat Celebrity Big Brother in 2014
Ms Maloney also told how as her life spiralled put of control she woke up in the night and broke down in tears.
She added: ‘I woke in the night and all I could do was cry. I thought, ”what have I done? I’ve got nothing in my life any more”. By this time Frank has gone.
‘I’ve lost that, but it was regret over all of the sacrifices that had come with it. I never had to queue up to get in somewhere, I could pick up the phone and say, ”it’s Frank Maloney” and things would happen. It was nice.’
After a few days of treatment Ms Maloney was moved to a psychiatric hospital and underwent a two-week course of therapy to help overcome her depression.
Now recovering after therapy, she admitted she has not even shared full details about the attempt on her with her three daughters.
Kellie Maloney with boxer Gary Cornish from Inverness and Zoltan Csala from Hungary in 2015
Last week Ms Maloney revealed in an Instagram post she had met infantryman Jason Shaw last year and they started spending time together at her home in the Algarve in Portugal.
Friends said at the time she was head over heels for security man, who served for a number of years in The Rifles and was in the Queen’s Guard at Buckingham Palace.
Ms Maloney revealed she was living as a woman in 2014 and briefly took over The Little Unicorn pub, in Marden, Kent in 2017, but left to pursue other opportunities.
Earlier this year Kellie appeared on an episode of First Dates which never aired.
After the date producers told Kellie they could not air the show after the person found out she is transgender.