The worst ride I’ve ever had in an Uber wasn’t actually that bad. The driver got me where I needed to go on time, didn’t drive recklessly, and was generally an all right guy. I just wish he hadn’t tried to get me on board with a new true-crime podcast he was starting and insisted would be “a big fuckin’ hit, man.”
I chuckle when I think about that story, but I don’t think the poor bastards at the center of these stories have much to laugh at. This collection centers around Uber rides where the passenger actually gave out a one-star review, and in order to actually earn that one star, they are not infractions as minor as “tried to pitch me on a podcast.”
My Uber was new to the area and attempted to drive down a rail road track. I asked what he was doing and he said “Oh sorry”
The driver didnt want to wait in traffic so he drove up onto the sidewalk. We all screamed at him to get back on the road as he continued to drive down the sidewalk while pedestrians ran out of the way. He told us that it wasn’t a sidewalk, it was an “uber lane.” It was a miracle he didnt actually run anyone over
Kept talking me non-stop and was asking me sexual questions and kept trying to show me music videos on his phone while driving and drove me to the wrong location and ended up charging me more. Immediately gave him a 1 star.
Didn’t acknowledge me at all, had some song screaming “just suck that dick” and “eat that pussy” on loop, and was face-booking while driving.
Stopped on the highway to read road signs…during rush hour…more than once.
Told me gleefully that she ‘brake checks’ people who tailgate her, then proceeded to do it multiple times.
They drove over my foot as I was trying to get my luggage into the car lol
She was simultaneously driving for Lyft and picked up another passenger completely out of our way. Then proceeded to brag about how she picked up some high school kids earlier and they had their destination set to the liquor store where she bought them liquor.
The guy fell asleep at the wheel and rear ended a car in front of us, then tried to flee, then left me at the side of the freeway. At Fruitvale in Oakland.
In the end I got a 500 dollar credit from Uber.
He decided it was a good time to practice the flute
Asked me if I liked cocaine within the first few minutes, then proceeded to tell me about how much he loved it, including a story about when he’d once done crack and tried to throw himself out of a window because he felt so depressed afterward. Then tried to take my number.
He drove me around the fucking planet because he missed road signs and somehow got on the highway? I looked up and was horrified. I asked him why we got on the highway and he said because he couldn’t turn the other way because there was too much traffic. The trip was 15 minutes but took 1 hour and 2 minutes. It was insane. They tried to charge me for the whole trip too.
Immediately when I got in the car, I was hit by an incense-y smell that was so strong it gave me an instant headache. She spent the whole ride trying to get me to join her essential oil down line in a well-known oil MLM. I declined politely and then firmly (I thought). We got to my destination and my head was pounding. She stopped and locked the doors.
She told me that she wasn’t going to let me out until I gave her my email address. I kind of chuckled and unlocked my door and she immediately locked it again. Then she pressed child lock so that when I tried to open the door it didn’t budge. I was shocked and scared, and she repeated that I had to give her my email address and handed me a notepad and pen. I made one up and dashed out of there. Immediately reported her.
A couple of weeks later she somehow found me on Facebook and sent a friend request. Needless to say I blocked her.
I was taking an uber home from the airport. The ride was perfect and he even insisted on dropping my baggage to the front door. Awesome. He then asked if he could use the restroom really quick and of course I obliged. He wasn’t in there for more than three minutes, but when I went to wash my hands after, I found my bathroom destroyed.
Shit was all over the toilet seat and just fucking everywhere. I really wish he had just taken more than a minute and shat like a normal human being but the dude must have had a leaky butthole because there was shit on my walls too. A one star review was the bare minimum I think.
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