What’s better than Sex?
What is better than Sex?
Solid question…here are some Answers,
ranging from “that’s Funny” to good old “yep too True”.
When your one Nostril finally clears after suffering for half a day.
Cracking your back in that one spot you’ve been trying to get for months.
Going back to sleep after accidentally waking up early because you saw your alarm won’t ring until much later.
When you have that 180-second POOP emergency cramp letting you know that no matter how hard you clench there will be no additional time before you violently shit yourself, and magically making it to that open public restroom with 5 seconds to spare, and as you squat knowing nothing is ruining your pants, the cramps simultaneously dissipate, and a tear of relief runs down your (face) cheek…that’s the best feeling.
When the scissors start gliding on the wrapping paper.
Successfully removing that uncomfortable popcorn kernel from your teeth after half a day of trying, using just your tongue.
Does getting a BJ count?
-Rick (3rd person)
Getting a back scratch from someone with long nails.
I met a girl at a wedding this weekend. I was really afraid to go talk to her but a slow song came up and I had to at least ask her to dance.
When I asked her she responded by saying,
“Absolutely, I have been waiting all night for you to ask!”
That shit felt good.
Peeing when you’ve had to go really bad and been holding it in a while.
A warm towel out of the dryer, or putting on brand new (never worn) socks.
When you finally get the water out of that one ear.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
-Rick (3rd person)
Eating something you’ve been craving for a while.
Agreed. Like pizza, chicken, your mother, good ice cream, etc.
The smell of crisp FALL AIR and the moderately chilly feeling on your face. We don’t have the season of fall where I live, so I really miss it.
Lab rats chose cocaine over sex.
Waking up at around the time that you normally would for work, and for an instant being overcome with that feeling (dread) that you have to get up and head to work for the day. Then, you have a moment of clarity where you realize that it’s actually your day off, and you can go right back to sleep for as long as you want.
Love that shit.
I have one best friend who no matter how long we have been apart…I can tell him anything and be more myself around him than I can my family.
Give that fucker a big hug man.
My best mate dropped dead one day at 31. I’m 45 now and still miss the fucker every day.
ONE thing better than Sex?
The best thing in the world is that special type of hysterical laughter you get when something unexpectedly hilarious happens, and you’re completely incapacitated. Can’t breathe, your whole abdomen has seized up with laughter, all you can do is gasp and wheeze, doubled over, tears streaming from your eyes.
When you’re the first person to wake up and make your coffee and do something alone in quiet. As a father and husband with two people who HAVE to have the tv or computers or consoles running from the second their up, I really love waking up early to silence.
Farting away a stomach ache.
Taking your bra off at the end of the day.
Taking YOUR bra off at the end of the day.
A true day off, where you have absolutely nothing to do, nothing planned, and a completely open day to do whatever the fuck you want.
Tons of things. Good food. Cold beer after a long day. Pulling out an ingrown toenail. When the ibuprofen kicks in. Paying off your student loan debt. Having disposable income to put items in your grocery basket without looking at the price. New/clean sheets. Cold air under a warm, thick blanket.
Talking to God
I’ve not had that in ages. Reading this and remembering how good it was honestly makes me tear up. Cherish it my friend. It is genuinely better than all the sex.
I’ll end with TWO personal REAL answers…
Building LEGO Millennium Falcon with 6-yr old daughter.
Hitting 3rd gear “just right” while racing a Mustang Cobra in a ’94 Pontiac Firebird “Formula”.
but she’s still got 5.7-L of V8 fun…luv you 90s.
Shout-out to a great question from “ Randomdudenotsuspic” on AskReddit
Check-out more answers,
What is better than Sex?
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