As soon as honeymoon period ends, the sexual acts takes a vacation
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PixabayWhen it comes to the success of a relationship, there’s generally no better barometer than the frequency in which they have sex. If their sex life is healthy, great, then their relationship is successful. Sounds like a solid theory. Except it’s not entirely true.
In recent years, there’s been a decline in how often couples have sex. What’s up with that? Superdrug Online Doctor wanted to know what was happening with all the sex and what that meant for intimacy, stability, and overall happiness.
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They decided to ask 1000+ Americans and UK folk about their sex lives and how it impacted their relationships. And if it did, what strategies they used to get things back on track.
Turns out there’s a lot more pillow talk than sexy moaning in todays household.
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Via Superdrug Online DoctorFirst up – the honeymoon period. There’s definitely a difference between a brand new relationship and one that’s been around the block a few times. Both are obviously having sex, but one is having it more often.
There’s no surprise that the newlyweds are the ones getting the most sex, averaging 4.9x a week over the first 11.8 months. Then, it drops off.
According to science, those first few months are exiting and fresh due to insane levels of feel-good chemicals in our brain, that make us super-horny. Then, it wears off and you fight over who gets which side of the bed.
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Via Superdrug Online DoctorThen there’s the dreaded mismatch of libidos. Without all those happy hormones, couples usually find a rhythm to their sex lives, but they’re not always on the same page.
Slightly more than half of the couples said that they had a similar libido their partners, but that included the 12.9% of couples that were still in the honeymoon stage. In reality, 3 out of 4 couples admitted to having a mismatched libido with their partner, and on average, this went on for just over 2 months.
Does this mean the relationship is doomed? Not at all. There are natural ebbs and flows to sexual desire, and it has a little bit to do with hormones and other relational factors. But it also has a huge influence from external stress factors from outside the relationship.
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The best thing to do, according to the experts, is to talk it out. Use those communication skills.
It seriously works.
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Via Superdrug Online DoctorThe couples in the survey can prove that. The study looked at all the common approaches to mismatched libidos and how helpful those actions were. Talking it out was the most common and most helpful answer.
Some tried to have sex even though they weren’t into it, others scheduled their sex dates.
Though it wasn’t the most popular, many said that doing things that didn’t involve genitals was satisfying too. Fosters that emotional connection, which will definitely lead back to the physical one.
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Via Superdrug Online DoctorThat said, there are still some outcomes to mismatched libidos that can fuck with your self esteem and mental health. Or, the sex issue might be because of the mental health. If you’ve got a low libido for a long period of time, it’s worth looking into. Some physical and mental imbalances can lead to low libido. Again, your hormones are going to be on a roller coaster, and it’s only gonna get more up and down as you get older.
The key thing to note, however, is how important sex is to the couple. The majority (83.2%) said that in order to feel a connection, they needed to have sex with their partner. If not, it created distance and self-esteem issues. That then impacts the libido and it turns into a vicious circle.
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Via Superdrug Online DoctorSo where does that leave us? Well, just because someone has a high libido, doesn’t mean they’re satisfied with their sex life, especially if it doesn’t line up with their partner’s.
The study found that having a low libido was even more detrimental to sexual satisfaction, than having a mismatched one. That still doesn’t make it easy though.
It should come as no surprise that the longer you are with your partner, the more likely you are to have had a different sex drive than your partner and feeling dissatisfied.
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In the end, you’re going to have moments where you’ll want to get down and dirty, and they won’t. Or the opposite. But expecting both of you to have the same sex drive all the time isn’t real, and it isn’t productive.
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