Let’s Break Down Why Flirting With Women Is So Confusing
I give men a lot of props when it comes to the turbulent world of dating. I’ll be the first to admit women are confusing as hell, so I can only imagine that hitting on girls feels a little like rocket science at times.Recently, Reddit user Topvennie asked the question, “What are some obvious signs that girls give guys when they’re into them that guys don’t notice?” It sparked a discussion about how complicated the answer is. Here are the best responses as we attempt to decode the inter-workings of the female brain.
Ok ladies. It’s not that men don’t get the signals. It’s that every woman’s signals are different. He had the same thing done by a woman who WASN’T interested in him. One woman’s flirting is another woman’s “Just being friendly”.
For every woman talking about how a guy missed the obvious signal, there is another woman talking about how her friendliness is mistaken for flirting. You laughed at his jokes because you are interested. Another woman laughed because it was a funny joke.
Unless you are literally getting naked or grabbing his dick, I guarantee that your “obvious signal” has been done to him by a woman who wasn’t interested in him.
I think the problem is that guys don’t want to misinterpret things so we just don’t interpret them at all. If we tried to figure it out, we’d drive ourselves crazy. We don’t want to come across as creeps and lose potential friends or make a friend-group weird.
Yup. If there’s anything that guys fear more than getting rejected, it’s being “That Guy”: the guy who misunderstood friendliness as flirting, tried to make a move and now everything has gotten awkward…
I completely agree. I remember meeting this girl at a party and we started chatting for a bit, having a laugh, and I remember her laughing at one of my jokes and touching my arm. I thought this was great she must be in to me. A couple of my friends come over and she did similar arm touches with them. I have heard girls before say that physical contact like that is a sign that they like a guy but for her it was just a part of who she was and how she interacted with people.
Because every woman’s signals are different, even when you are reasonably sure she’s flirting with you that slight doubt makes it really scary to take things further. There’s a lot of pressure on dudes to not get rejected and having the onus on you to be the first to put your feelings in unambiguous terms is scary. You can always pass a hint off as being friendly whereas you can’t pass off “do you want to go out with me some time?”.
I hope that one woman will read it and realize that maybe the guy that she’s sending signals to has had the same thing done by women who weren’t interested. Then she’ll “man up” and just ask the guy out.
I’d say that’s a pretty accurate breakdown of why it’s so hard to tell if a woman is into you. Every female is different and there’s really no hard-and-fast rule for flirting. Really, every situation is its own version of complicated for men and for women.
Which is why I have to say, dating just kind of sucks sometimes. To everyone out there trying to navigate the rough waters, I’m rooting for you. And myself. I’m one cat away from becoming perpetually single.
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