Via HBO/Game of Thrones Eight years after it all began, the fight for the Iron Throne is finally over. But don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything in this post if you haven’t seen the series finale yet. It’s safe, I promise. Maybe not too safe for work though.
Via Twitter/uBeaYork After watching the final episode of Game of Thrones, most fans still have a ton of questions. I know I do. But maybe the most important one is, “What are we supposed to do with our Sunday nights now?”
Well, here’s an idea… actually, several ideas.
Via Instagram/geeky_sex_toys You might remember this ‘Game of Moans’ post from a while back on the GoT themed sex toys courtesy of Geeky Sex Toys. The company, who says they make “toys for the naughty nerd” and that’s totally cool with me, has since expanded their lineup of weapons from Westeros, so get ready for some long nights.
Via Geeky Sex Toys Seriously, it’ll be a really long night with ‘The Night Kink’. This glow in the dark dildo is hand crafted and apparently features amazing detail, which makes me think that someone must have gotten pretty handsy with the Night King’s icy sword.
Via Geeky Sex Toys With only 350 available, it’s also a limited edition. Each ‘Night Kink’ dildo comes with a hand signed certificate of authenticity.
Via Geeky Sex Toys If you like fire instead of ice, then this is just what you need. The ‘Drodong’. This aggressive looking sex toy might not be for everyone, but if you’re looking to become the Mother of Dragons…
Via Geeky Sex Toys Aside from the new additions, you can still get your hands on Jon Snow’s ‘Long Shaft’, pun intended. This dildo sword is a must for anyone on the Night’s Watch.
Via Geeky Sex Toys Maybe dildo swords aren’t your thing? That’s cool, how about the ‘Dragon Egg Gag’? That looks fun!
Via Geeky Sex Toys Unfortunately, the ‘Dragon Egg Bullet Vibrator Container’ is no longer available.
Via Geeky Sex Toys The ‘Bronze Eagle Dildo Sword’ and ‘Dragon Dildo Sword’ are gone too.
Via Bad Dragon Geeky Sex Toys aren’t the only company cashing in on the success of Game of Thrones either. The appropriately named sex toy company Bad Dragon also got in on the naughty fun with their ‘Egg Plug’, which comes in several different sizes ranging from small to “WTF, that’s huge”, as well as a bunch of colour options.
Via Bad Dragon Of course, Bad Dragon also has an extensive line of dragon dildos.
Via Bad Dragon There’s even a dragon masturbator, and honestly, this freaks me the fuck out.
Via Bad Dragon And if dragons aren’t for you, they’ve got a direwolf dildo too.
Via Lovehoney Speaking of direwolves, this vibrating fox tail butt plug could easily pass as Ghost’s… And just writing that made me feel dirty and ashamed.
Via Etsy There’s plenty of GoT inspired lingerie items out there too. Turn up the heat with this sexy Khalessi outfit.
Via Etsy Or make some magic happen in the bedroom with this Red Witch costume.
Via Yandy.com There’s even a sexy ‘Northern Queen’ set. Jon Snow might not know anything, but I bet he’d take a knee for this.
So, winter may have come and gone but summer is just beginning, and thanks to these Game of Thrones sex toys, it looks like it’s going to be a hot one!
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