Not to be too mean to the people in our lives that insisted on it being true, but I’ve never believed in the phrase “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Fuck yeah there is! And we’ve got a whole bunch of stupid questions to share.
What kind of nuts are in the maple walnut ice cream?
A girl at my high school once asked “If a mom and dad go to China and have a baby will it look Chinese?”
The look the teacher gave was amazing.
“Was this based on a true story?”
-my wife, after we watched The Martian.
not specifically asked to me, but once in middle school a guy in my science class asked the teacher if vietnam was near chicago. i swear i saw a piece of her soul die.
Not me, but a New Zealand acquaintance of mine who lives here in the US was asked “what’s it like there? Y’know, with all the little people?” refering to hobbits. We all stared incredulously at this idiot who was legit waiting for an answer. As an American I have never been more embarrassed in my life.
I used to have a mild allergy to whey and couldn’t consume any cow’s milk or by-products, and when I was pregnant with my first kid, my friend’s sister asked me, “but if you can’t drink it, then how are you going to have milk for your baby?”
Cue my best Fry from Futurama narrowed-eyes face. This nearly 30yo woman not only didn’t realize that breast milk comes from your blood supply (somewhat understandable), but she thought it ONLY came from when you actively drank milk from a cow.
I was once looking at a map of the Earth, and I asked “what’s on the other side of the Earth? Just a giant ocean?”. See, I’d thought that, while the Earth is obviously round, that all the continents were on the same side of the planet.
I’d never seen a globe before. Give me a fucking break.
My cousin asked me how our moms knew each other.
This is a cousin from my mother’s side. He was 16.
“Why isn’t Australia included in any of your Europe packages?”
“Do you mean Austria?”
“Because it’s not in Europe.”
“Sure it is. They speak English!”
I work in a candy store, where we sell a lot of stuff with nuts.
Someone told me they didn’t want peanuts, almonds, cashews, pecans, walnuts, or macadamia. They just asked if we had Regular Nuts.
I worked at insomnia cookies (called that because we were open until 3 AM) and had a conversation that went like this:
Girl: “So do they actually work??” Me: “Do what work?” Girl: “The cookies. Do they actually give you insomnia and help you stay up all night??” Me:…………
“when was the war of 1812?”
Did you visit the Eiffel Tower during your trip to New York? I actually had two different people ask me this today.
On my very first dead body, we were standing around waiting for the Medical Examiner when all the sudden I had to pee. So I turned to my Training Officer and said “I have a stupid question but I want you to know it’ll be a stupid question first”
He looks at me and says, “Go on…”
To which I replied, “I have to pee. Can I use the decedants bathroom?”
He laughed, told me no, and said that would be unprofessional. But he did get relief so that I could relieve myself.
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