The Holidays are a beautiful time when you come together with your family and celebrate. You reminisce about the coulda, should, woulda of the past year and talk about how much better things are going to be next year. It’s a wonderful thing. It’s also stressful as hell and many of us spend the six weeks or so from Thanksgiving to New Year’s day in a drunken food coma. Here at theChive, we want to help you have the best holiday season possible, so we compiled this short survival guide to help keep the season bright and get you into the new year without losing your marbles.
Don’t be “That Guy”
Like death, taxes and Bob posting FLBP, some things are guaranteed. Among those guarantees is the fact that someone is going to be remembered for the things they shouldn’t have said or done at the holiday party. Avoid the infamy this year. Let someone else stick their foot in their mouth, literally and figuratively.
No Last-Minute Shopping
Honestly, the easiest way to make sure you stay safe this holiday season is to remain in the comfort of your own home. That means getting your gifts ahead of time and not scrambling around on Christmas eve with all the crazies. There’s also this amazing new invention call the internet where I’ve been told you can order everything from booze to brides.
Bag it Up
Whoever invented the gift bag should have won a Nobel prize. You have enough things to worry about without the tedium of wrapping gifts, especially if you ignored my first tip and waited till the last minute. Cut yourself some slack and use bags. The best part about bags: they’re reusable!
You’re an adult. You can do whatever you want. Even if that means hiding in an upstairs closet with a pillow and blanket and catching some Z’s while everyone else argues over the difference between stuffing and dressing.
I’ve never been one to plan ahead, except when it comes to the holidays. With so many people coming and going and all the activities, you’re sure to forget something, but planning ahead can help you avoid lines, weather and leaving Kevin home alone. Again.
Food is your Friend
New Year’s Eve is one big party and let’s face it, you can drink like you used to, sailor. So, eat a nice hearty dinner before you drink away this year’s mistakes. Go for foods high in protein that will help absorb the alcohol. Like you needed an excuse for a steak dinner.
Elastic Waistbands are a Lifesaver
The best, and probably the worst part about the holidays, is indulging in all the food. Big meals end with gluttonous deserts washed down with boozy eggnog. All of this means your tight little tummy is gonna need some lee-way. Invest in some pants with an elastic waistband to give yourself just a little more room.
But Dress for the Occasion
On that note, sweat pants are great for opening gifts and driving around looking at lights, but New Year’s Eve is a suit-up event. You don’t have to wear a tux, though you will look incredible if you do, but throw on a suit while you bid last year goodbye and welcome in your best year yet
Moderation is Key
Whether you’re drinking, eating or spending (time & money), you want to use some moderation. Following this tip will keep you from getting a nasty hangover and a bank account in the red.
Prevent That Nasty Hangover
‘TIS THE SEASON TO DRINK. The end of the year is rapidly approaching, so why not help future you and curb that hangover before it even has a chance? Just chug a
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Champagne is the Devil Don’t get me wrong, I love sipping on some bubbly, but on the hangover scale, carbonated beverages are guaranteed to kick your ass. This is because the CO2 helps your body absorb the alcohol much faster, elevating your blood alcohol level much quicker. Save the Champagne for the New Year’s toast, otherwise stick your normal, non-carbonated booze.
Speaking of your Drink
You a whiskey man or a vodka girl? Maybe you like life on the sweet side and pour rum. Whatever your drink of choice, stay faithful. Bouncing between boozes is the surest way to be wasted before the ball drops and wake up not remembering what year it is.
Have fun with your Resolution
Don’t stick to the same old tropes. “Lose weight”-blah! “Cuss less”-STFU. “Save money”-you can’t take it with you! Get creative with your New Year’s Resolution! Make it something you’ll actually look forward to! “Travel somewhere new” or “Play more golf.” Or if you’re Ben, propose to Olga in a new and even more creative way. Really, explore the space!
Have a Toast Prepared Giving a good toast is a lost art. Too many times we settle for something like, “Blaaarrrrrg fireball good!” Hop on Google for 2 minutes and come up with something truly inspiring or creative. Here’s a great one:
Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.” — You –Benjamin Franklin
Drink. More. Water.
Really, this is something we could all probably benefit from year-round. Drinking healthy amounts of water helps you look and feel healthier, lose weight and curb hunger. It can help maintain blood pressure and lubricate joints. But, most importantly, during the holidays it helps flush body waste and reduces chances of getting a hangover.
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